Bleach and Naruto Fairytales
by randomqueenwilla
Summary: Peter Pan, Hansel and Gretel, and many more! Sleeping Beauty ch1 uploaded! Kenpachi is the prince, Naruto is the Orange fairy, Linda gets to be the evil queen, Histu is her crow? Why is Itachi pissed at the author? Oh because of who I made him be.
1. Chapter 1

Hello all this is the first chapter of the Fairytale(s) series. I hope you all enjoy yet more randomness.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, Naruto, Snow White, or Star Wars

This time I have nothing to say so I will get right to the story...

* * *

Snow White

Naruto and Bleach Style

Once upon a time in a galaxy far far away…wait that's star wars.

Once upon a time in a faraway land there lived a queen, person, well I assume she was a queen since her husband was later the king but I guess it is unimportant to the plot since she will die soon. Oops I gave away part of the plot.

So this queen lady wanted a daughter with skin as white as snow and hair as black as, well something really black. I am going to go with ebony. So she wanted a daughter with skin as white as snow and hair as black as ebony and lips as red as blood. I think she secretly wanted a vampire kid. I mean seriously lips as red as blood, skin as white as snow is really pale like a vampire.

So anyway the powers that be, or coincidence we are not too sure, decided to grant her wish. Unfortunately for her the powers that be are not that nice so they only granted one of her wishes. She got a daughter, me, lucky her. Devastatingly the price for the granting of a wish is death. The powers that be are apparently mean, evil, and sadistic.

So she's dead now and an undisclosed amount of time later the king remarries. The king married a woman; wait no, a man named Yumichika. I guess the king was secretly gay. So Yumichika and I get along okay, I think, since I was a baby and thus ugly (But adorable) so Yumichika was fine with me being there. He apparently owns a magic mirror that tells him that he is the fairest of them all. It's a Narcissistic tendency-promoting mirror. Moving along to Yumichika talking to his mirror, when I don't know sometime before he tries to have me killed. Dang it I revealed part of the plot again. Oh well…

* * *

"Mirror, mirror on the wall who's the fairest of them all?" Yumichika asked looking like a psychopath talking to an inanimate object. Then he waited, and waited, and waited. This is probably why the queen was always late for everything, the waiting for the mirror to confirm his loveliness.

Several hours later the mirror finally responded with a "Yo!"

"Kakashi you took a long time today."

"You see there was this bear, he was deathly afraid of being stuffed so I had to stop and give him a banana. This caused a group of monkeys to chase us."

"Kakashi mirror, you are a mirror there are no bears."

"Maa, how do you know?"

"I just do. So who is the fairest?"

"Well you know I don't really swing that way-

"Just tell me that I am pretty."

"Fine, you're the fairest."

"Good, you may go." Yumichika said covering up the mirror and leaving to start his day. This is what he does every morning. His ego is really inflated because of it.

* * *

So that was how every morning went until I was older. So when I reached an undisclosed age I went to Yumichika's room to tell her, I mean him, to hurry so that we wouldn't be late. I am extremely afraid of being late. So Yumichika was somewhere (he/she decided to give the mirror a taste of it's own medicine and call it but then make it wait) and I being a normal girl of unknown age decided to take advantage of this chance and do the smart thing which is explore the room. Well there was this interesting box (you thought I was going to notice the mirror didn't you) so I decided to go through it. As I am looking through the previously mentioned box of amazing cool things I hear a voice say "Yo!"

"Hello?" I ask looking around for the source of the voice and noticing that there is a face in a mirror in the corner. Well that's odd. To add to the oddness it was a figure with a mask and an eye patch. So I stared at the mirror for a bit until the mirror face saw me and looked shocked at my presence.

"Who are you?" The mirror figure asked.

"Apparently some crazy person because an inanimate object is talking to me."

"What is your name?"

"Candice." I answered the mirror, what harm can it do knowing my name it's a mirror. Coughforshadowingcough.

"Why are you here?"

"To tell my step-um…mom to hurry up."

"Yumichika is your um…mom?"

"Yes, I think, ish." I say then hear the person in question calling for me. "I have to go."

"Wait, come back I want a hug." Kakashi mirror whined as I was walking to the door.

"Even if I came back you wouldn't be able to get a hug, you're a mirror." I pointed out then walked out the door.

"Curses."

* * *

After my encounter with the mirror I decided to sing to random birds while standing by a well. That's what any sane person does after finding out about a magic mirror that can talk to you and wants a hug. So I was minding my own business, still singing to the well, when I noticed that there was a well dressed guy standing there creepily staring at me.

"Um..." I started to say then decided to run away from him. I ran through this one door and then up to a balcony. I got curious to see if he was still down there, when I looked down he was standing there looking sadly up at me. "Aw, poor sad panda!"

I turn around to go down there and run away with the cute sad panda but I am stopped by a Linda Bunny. "You can't do that."

"Why not?" I ask confused.

"It goes against the plot." Linda Bunny calmly answered.

"Aw, but it would be so much easier and quicker if I just ran away with him now."

"Yes but the plot."

"Stupid plot." I mutter as I look down at the sad panda once more only to see a bird try to land on his head only to have him glare at it. He looked at me once more then left.

* * *

The next day…

"Mirror mirror on the wall-" Yumichika started to say but was cut off by the early appearance of the mirror man.

"Yo! Oh it's you." Kakashi said sounding really depressed about it.

"Who else would it be?"

"Well yesterday there was this pretty girl named Candice here." Kakashi said his one eye smiling happily at the memory.

"So who is the fairest?"

"Well I thought it was you, but since I had only seen you and this one old guy, I guess I just didn't have any basis of comparison…"

"Just tell me."

"I think that Candice is the fairest of them all."

"No I am not." The two of them hear faintly from outside the door, I wasn't eavesdropping, nope not me.

"Well I think you are the fairest of them all so give me a hug."

"That's impossible remember." I reminded him through the door.

"Drat." He said but I didn't hear it because I was being told to vacate the premises by some maid. Apparently it's rude to stand with your ear pressed against a door listening to someone else's conversation about a matter that could pertain to your well-being, who would have thought? Such a long sentence…

"Wait, so Candice is the fairest of them all?" the queen asked trying to get final confirmation from the mirror.

"Them all being the three of you, then yes."

"I must kill her then!"

"Wait isn't that a bit harsh? I am biased you know since I don't swing that way. So technically you could be the fairest I just don't like guys." the mirror explained.

"Nope, I definitely have to kill her. Even though I have a normal, fairly good relationship with her."

* * *

For some reason I feel like I am going to be killed. Nah that can't be it, who would want to kill me? Well other than that crazy psychopath, or that man whose bread stick I ate. Personally I don't think that eating someone's bread stick is deserving of the death penalty, or in this case worthy of being a motive for murder. Unless, of course if it was the last one then I would deserve it.

So like a normal person who has the feeling that there is someone trying to kill them I followed some random soldier dude into the creepy woods without informing anyone of my whereabouts. I didn't even tell my father who was apparently kicked out of this story or is that unimportant that he never actually is in it.

"So um, Ikkaku was it, what are we doing in the woods." I ask after I hit my head on a tree branch because it was too short. Stupid short trees, attacking me.

"I am supposed to kill you." he answered honestly getting into some fighting stance and pulling out his spear (or is it a pike?) and lunging towards me. I did something smart for once and ran.

"Aren't you supposed to pity me or fall in love with me or something, not actually attack me?" I question him.

"Oh yeah. So go run through the creepy woods and never come back here. You are exiled!"

"Couldn't you have put that nicer?"

"Nope."

"Well then you definitely aren't my prince charming."

"I'm fine with that."

"As long as we're on the same page." I say calmly walking into the creepy forest.

* * *

That's the end of this chapter but stick around for the next one which I will update next week.

Plus if you liked this story you should go read One Random Day and Another Random day.

Or If you like KenpachiXOCXByakuya stories then read Zenpachi.

Yet another 'or' read Issues with Itachi if you are a fan of either Itachi or Gaara. End shameless advertisement. (profile has more details)

* * *

Preview from next chapter:

_The next day I wake up only to see some dude staring at me. I sit up and realize that not only was it some dude staring at me but he was also really short. I guess he was a dwarf. "Um, hello?" I ask and he smirks at me._

"_I am Attention-whore, or you can call me Itachi for short." the creepy staring dwarf greeted me._

"_How does that work?" I ask confused by the nickname._

"_We do not question these things." he answered simply._


	2. Snow White 2

Here's the lovely little second chapter of three. Hope you like it.

* * *

Pretty soon I came across a cottage. How convenient. It was a small cottage, I hit my head getting through the door. I knocked because it's rude not to but I only waited a little bit before coming in but no one answered and it was creepy outside, creepy I say. I then looked for the porridge, oops wrong story. So I decided that I worked way too hard walking all that way through the forest. It only took like two minutes to get here, but I am tired now. So I decided to use half of the beds and sleep on them, that was uncomfortable because of the breaks between the beds. So I slept on the floor.

* * *

The next day I wake up only to see some dude staring at me. I sit up and realize that not only was it some dude staring at me but he was also really short. I guess he was a dwarf. "Um, hello?" I ask and he smirks at me.

"I am Attention-whore, or you can call me Itachi for short." the creepy staring dwarf greeted me.

"How does that work?" I ask confused by the nickname.

"We do not question these things." he answered simply.

"Can I stay here?" I ask bluntly, it's best not to leave decisions like this to the last minute.

"I don't mind." Attention-whore replied.

"Thanks."

"But I do." A even shorter dwarf remarked.

"Shut up shorty-dwarf no one asked you." Two dwarfs with long hair retort at the same time.

"I am not short I am Hitsugaya." Shorty-dwarf yelled.

"Hi!" a very happy voice shouted nearly in my ear. "I am Sunshine dwarf or Naruto, I answer to both."

"Good to know." I responded looking slightly confused about why I needed to know that at the precise moment.

"We are the twin dwarfs." the two dwarfs that yelled at shorty-dwarf introduced themselves.

"I am Neji also known as one of the twin dwarfs or fate-dwarf."

"I am Bya, brother of Neji also one of the twin dwarfs."

"I am Mortal Combat dwarf or Kenpachi, wanna fight?" he asked really excited over the prospect.

"No but I can tell you about some bald soldier that needs to get beaten up for being mean to me." I inform him grinning evilly at the prospect.

"Someone was mean to you?" Naruto asked innocently.

"Yeah, he tried to kill me because my step-mom...dad...thing wanted me dead. Not only that but he actually tried to kill me until I reminded him about the plot."

"We shall dispose of him tomorrow." all the dwarfs, except for Hitsugaya and the one who was asleep on the bed, said eerily. Yes that includes Naruto, his eyes flashed red for some reason.

"Who is sleeping on the bed?" I ask noticing that one of the dwarfs was asleep on his bed.

"That is sleepy or Shikamaru." Naruto offered helpfully.

"I will call him Shika." I announce causing the sleeping dwarf to mutter troublesome.

"You are going to have to earn your keep." Shorty-dwarf announced.

"Okay, what will I have to do." I ask trusting that it will not be that bad.

"You have to cook and clean for us." Naruto said excitedly because he was already looking forward to eating.

"You will be our maid." Neji informed me.

"That means you will have to wear a maid outfit." Itachi, Kenpachi, and Bya said creepily at the same time. Then they zoned off for a bit with oddly happy perverted smiles on their faces.

"I veto the maid outfit." I say then look to Hitsugaya for confirmation.

"Agreed." Shorty-dwarf said causing the perverted creepy dwarfs to glare at him.

"I'm hungry." Naruto announced giving me the puppy dog eyes.

"I'll go cook dinner than."

* * *

The next day I was cleaning up the entire cottage, all by myself. Okay fine, there was an entire army of woodland creatures helping me. Including an oddly not helpful Linda bunny.

"So you are making us clean why?" Linda bunny asked me watching all the other animals do my chores.

"Honestly I didn't ask them to, they just started to clean. Then they demanded that I tell Mortal Combat dwarf that they do not want to fight."

"That means they want you to save them from the wrath of Kenpachi."

"I'll put in a good word if nothing else."

"It's kind of odd that you haven't been found yet since this cottage is only like a five minute walk from the palace, how slow are they?"

"Apparently extremely slow."

"Is Shika in his bed?"

"Of course he is."

"I am going to go take a nap with him then."

"Why are you even here?" I ask her since it seemed odd that she would show up talk to me for a minute and then go to sleep.

"I come over and sleep all the time." Linda bunny said then went into the bedroom and I heard a troublesome through the door.

Several hours later the house is really clean and I baked some pie. I also baked some cookies but those were for me so I hid them after eating several. For some reason I feel like I am being watched. I ignore it and go take a nap on the floor.

* * *

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, whose the fairest of them all." Yumichika asked once Baldy came back with Candice's heart, which Yumichika didn't ask for and didn't want.

"Well it would be smart of me to say you, but since that would not move the plot along I will say that it is still Candice." Kakashi mirror said lazily reading a book, of porn, and giggling.

"What! But Ikkaku brought her heart to me."

"Ew, did you ask for that?"

"No."

"That's really nasty."

"I know, wait we got off topic. This is where I am supposed to get pissed off and try to kill her."

"Yeah you are supposed to turn into a really ugly hag and offer her a poisoned apple." Kakashi mirror said.

"Dang it I knew I forgot something."

"What?"

"The apple. I only have some tomatoes. That should work too." the evil queen stated hopefully. "Oh well." he/she stated then continued the spells and whatnot as if it was an apple and not a tomato.

* * *

Preview for next chapter:

"_There's someone coming." Linda bunny remarks quite randomly and has a look of shock, well as shocked as a bunny can look anyway._

"_Is that really that shocking?"_

"_No, but this person is clearly the evil queen-person."_

"_Why do you say that?" I ask the Linda bunny._

"_The fact that it was in the story and because of the eyebrows. Who else has feather things attached to them." Linda bunny points out._


	3. Snow White End

This is the final chapter of Snow White, but not the last story I am writing. I will be using similar characters and such. I will probably upload the next part as Naruto instead of Bleach so if you want to know about the story ask for an alert or something. After the next story I will probably switch back and forth between uploading as Bleach and Naruto.

* * *

That night the dwarfs and I had a party. It was so much fun, until Kenpachi got drunk and started to fight everyone. I decided to yell Mortal Combat and root for people so it turned into an all out brawl. The winner was me because I was the last one standing since no one attacked me. Linda Bunny and Shika were also not attacked but they were both sleeping on oddly comfortable looking cushions. I once again slept on the floor after the festivities were over.

* * *

The next day I was minding my own business while the woodland creatures cleaned the house for me since Kenpachi hasn't attacked anyone recently. I don't know why, since I forgot to ask him not to, oh well free labor until then. Linda bunny however joins me in my doing nothing. Go us.

"There's someone coming." Linda bunny remarks quite randomly and has a look of shock, well as shocked as a bunny can look anyway.

"Is that really that shocking?"

"No, but this person is clearly the evil queen-person."

"Why do you say that?" I ask the Linda bunny.

"The fact that it was in the story and because of the eyebrows. Who else has feather things attached to them." Linda bunny points out.

"True." I say then I look out the door, "Wait he didn't even change his appearance he just put on a hat and cloak."

"And I thought that we were lazy." Linda bunny comments to me.

"Seriously." I agree.

"Ah my dear would you allow a person in a hat and a cloak to rest their feet for a bit in your lovely cottage?" The queen asked as she walked through the door and made herself at home, completely ignoring the woodland animals that were still cleaning.

"Um, sure." I answer since she was already in.

"You are so sweet, have a tomato." the queen said offering me a red tomato.

"Um, thanks." I answer taking the tomato and putting it on the table.

"Well I should be going." The queen said leaving the house to go back to the palace and ask the mirror if he is now the fairest once more.

"Bye then." I say with a wave.

"Are you going to eat the tomato?" Linda bunny asked.

"Of course not, I hate tomatoes." I announce throwing the tomato through the open window. Linda Bunny and I had a fun afternoon talking about how silly the queen was that day. I was so tired that I fell asleep before the dwarfs came home and after the woodland creatures left. Since I sleep on the floor that's where I slept.

* * *

The dwarfs entered the house and immediately notice that Candice was not there to greet them, usually she saw them and says hello when they walk through the door. They, being the rational members of society that they are, assumed that the queen must have come and killed her. Although they were close to guessing what actually happened it does not make sense to logically come up with that conclusion just because she didn't greet them at the door.

The dwarfs then decided to get revenge on the queen for taking my life away, so they found her and pushed her off a cliff. Well that was the story they told, but I am pretty sure that they did worse things to him/her. They went back home after their revenge but did not know what to do with my body, since they did not want to bury me.

So the dwarfs decided to make a coffin outside made of glass. Why glass you ask? Because Attention-whore dwarf, Mortal Combat dwarf, and Bya all wanted to stare creepily at my supposed dead body. How wrong is that? So anyway no one noticed that I was just asleep, well Shika did but it was too troublesome for him to intervene on my behalf, so I was put in my coffin outside.

After about an hour the sad panda prince from the beginning of the story randomly comes. He walks over to where I lay in my coffin, whose top had been removed due to the fact that it was annoying to those who were staring creepily since there was a glare. He ignored the glares he received and then bent over me and kissed me. I of course chose that moment to wake up.

"Sad Panda!" I exclaim hugging him.

"What?" the dwarfs shouted confused since they thought I was dead.

"What, what?" I ask.

"You're alive."

"Yes. I was sleeping." I tell them.

"Who is he?" Itachi asked annoyed at the fact that I was still hugging him.

"Yeah, what is your name?"

"Gaara." He answered simply then lifted me up and took me to his horse.

"Wait where are you taking her?" Bya asked.

"My palace." He answered simply starting to ride away.

"Wait, you can't just steal her, she's ours." Kenpachi insisted running after the horse.

Then all the dwarfs except for Shika, because he is too lazy, and Naruto, because he just wants me to be happy, ran after Prince Gaara but failed at catching up. I decided that I was fine with being kidnapped since he is a sad panda and because this way I might actually get a bed that I fit on. So I lived happily ever after, on my lovely bed that I fit on, but only one thing troubled me. What ever happened to that tomato?

* * *

The tomato traveled through the air until it was spotted by a young man walking on a path. We do not question how the tomato went that far or how it didn't hit a tree. Well the man decided to catch the tomato and eat it. So Sasuke caught the tomato, like the ninja he is, and then ate it. He unfortunately was cursed by the tomato but no one ever found his body. The End!

* * *

That is the end of Snow White. The next story will be...Beauty and the Beast (even though I had meant to do Little Red Riding Hood I started to write Beauty and the Beast). I will not upload any of it until I am done with it so I don't know when the next chapter will be out. I will try to get it out this month sometime but it depends on school. Sorry for anyone who is really looking forward to this, Issues with Itachi and Zenpachi come first along with School work.

* * *

Preview from Beauty and the Beast:

_There was once a prince who had a really bad attitude, like most princes, he was arrogant and stuff. So this random beggar woman, who is also blind and is named Tousen, came to his door one day and demanded that he let her/him in since it is cold. The prince took one look at the beggar woman and decided it was actually a man and refused to let him in, unless he wanted to fight. So they fought. Oh wait that's not how it goes, dang it Grimmjow you are not supposed to fight the beggar lady!_


	4. Beauty and the Beast

Yeah, I got busy so I did not write this one as much since my other stories come first. I have about half of Beauty and the Beast written so I decided to be nice an upload this chapter even though I said I wouldn't upload until the story is done. Sorry I thought that I was going to be able to get this out sooner.

Personally I like how this one is turning out better than how Snow White did. Oh well, on with the story.

* * *

Beauty and the Beast

Bleach and Naruto Style

There was once a prince who had a really bad attitude, like most princes, he was arrogant and stuff. So this random beggar woman, who is also blind and is named Tousen, came to his door one day and demanded that he let her/him in since it is cold. The prince took one look at the beggar woman and decided it was actually a man and refused to let him in, unless he wanted to fight. So they fought. Oh wait that's not how it goes, dang it Grimmjow you are not supposed to fight the beggar lady!

"Tousen started it he took off my arm!" The prince, Grimmjow yelled at the narrator.

Okay fine. So they fought and Grimmjow, the prince lost his arm, then he kicked the old beggar lady (who really was a blind man named Tousen) out. The beggar lady enraged at the fact that the prince would kick a poor defenseless beggar lady out (yeah right) turned into a beautiful enchantress. Since this is actually Tousen lets say that beggar lady was Tousen with a fro from the flashbacks and the beautiful Tousen was arrancar Tousen who has minions to braid his hair. (How else does it get so nicely braided?) So Tousen decided that the best choice of action to do to the prince was to curse him and his household. Because Tousen is just nice like that. I mean seriously what did the subjects of the prince do to warrant that punishment. So Tousen decreed that everyone would turn into household items (because turning them into things that are already there is a lot easier than making something up) and the prince was turned into...dun dun dun ...a beast! Cat, arrancar thing.

"Narrator you completely forgot about the rose." Tousen shouted to the narrator since he realized that part was completely omitted.

Oh yeah that. So earlier in the story the beggar lady offered the prince a rose, in the middle of winter, in exchange for a place to stay for the night. This should have been the first sign to the prince that this was no mere beggar lady but I guess he is not that bright.

"Hey." Grimmjow shouted.

"Don't interrupt her this will just take longer if you continue." Tousen chastised the prince.

As I was saying the prince quickly said no to the offer of a rose because he thought that Tousen was coming onto him and in this story Grimmjow is not gay.

"What do you mean in this story?" Grimmjow shouted.

"Shh!" Tousen shushed him.

So since the prince didn't want the rose and then the before mentioned stuff happened. The beggar lady said that as long as the rose bloomed the prince would be able to reverse the curse and return to being a human (as human as he ever was). Immediately the prince wondered why he got such a harsh punishment (especially since when he refused the rose earlier he threw it on the ground so it was already a little worse for ware). Tousen quickly explained that it was a magic rose, which explains the whole alive in winter thing, and that it would bloom for a very long time. Grimmjow was still pissed but a little less so.

Grimmjow then inquired how he is to break the curse. Tousen responds by telling him that he has to love someone and that they have to love him in return. Grimmjow immediately was thrown into despair because he knew that with his attitude and now beastly looks no one would love him. Poor Grimmjow. A long, long time from then the actual important part of the story (aka the part that I'm in) starts.

* * *

The story starts with a musical number, which is started by me singing about the town waking up and saying Bonjour to me. Which is silly since every other word everyone says is in English but we greet each other in French. Except for that one weird guy that says Bonjourno, but we all ignore him. I just smile and nod to people on my way and continue to add to the song every so often. I finally get to where I was going...the bookstore library place. I return the book I borrowed, yesterday according to context clues in the dialog, and then pick out a book I have read many times before. The Librarian guy then mentioned to me all the times I read it. I then decided to say how much I love that book, such a good book. Then the librarian dude decided to give it to me. I immediately hugged him because he gave me something for free and it was a book. I like books; I especially like it when they are free.

I leave my store with the book and blatantly ignore Kenpachi singing about how I am going to be his wife. I also ignore the three slutty girls, named Ino, Tsunade, and Deidara (yes he's a dude but he's in denial in this story) who are badmouthing me. Maybe if I ignore them all and read, something that I have already read and thus know the storyline, they will go away. I decide that I'd rather talk to some goats about the story then acknowledge Kenpachi. Take that Kenpachi's pride. Well apparently ignoring him didn't work since Kenpachi decided to bother me anyway.

So I was using my reading while walking powers and ignoring the song that kept insulting me until I could not ignore it anymore. Usually when I ignore things they go away, but this is the entire town and Kenpachi we are talking about. I turned around and glared at the town and they went back to their business and stopped singing, good to know that I can put a stop to the song I started in the first place. Then Kenpachi appears out of nowhere and takes my book.

"How can you read this it has no fighting?" Kenpachi asked casually tossing the book into some mud. My book. My new, free, book, which I had to do absolutely nothing but be nice to that one guy to get, was thrown in the mud. My response should be to just clean it off and then continue talking to him but that was Belle and this is me. So I kicked him.

"Never touch my books." I threatened ignoring the fact that Kenpachi is grinning. I quickly pick up my book and clean it; ignoring the stare that Kenpachi is giving me. He ignores my warning about the book and snatches it from me once more.

"Let's go fight," he suggests eagerly.

"Maybe some other time." I say snatching my book back and noticing the arrival of Kenpachi's number one minion. "I have to help my father,"

"That crazy old loon?" Ikkaku laughed and Kenpachi laughed too until I glared. Apparently in this story I have Uchiha glare powers, cool.

"He is not crazy, Baldy."

"I am not bald." Ikkaku denied like usual.

"Then me and everyone else in the world must be mistaken." I say sarcastically.

"Well everyone says that your father is crazy." Ikkaku retorted.

"Well I don't think he's crazy and he doesn't so there are two people who don't think that where as you only have yourself."

"She told you." Kenpachi laughed not noticing that I took the chance to run away towards my house which seemed to be on fire or just smoky. Seems like a problem.

* * *

"Father what happened? What exploded? Were you too short to reach the off switch on the machine again?"

"Nothing, nothing, and I am not short you ungrateful daughter." Hitsugaya my father said practically growling at me. So like any normal person would do I decided to continue to make fun of his shortness.

"I get it, there was a small fire and you couldn't reach the fire extinguisher because it is too high so you had to create an explosion to get me to come back from the town."

"No. This contraption here is just a failure."

"Wouldn't that make you one too?" I said then decided I was going to die unless I said something else, father or no father, "I mean, um...maybe if you put the buttons closer to the ground so that you don't need a stool to operate it then it might work better."

"Are you implying that the reason it dose not work is because I am short?"

"Yes."

"Just for that I am leaving you here to take care of the chickens."

"I wasn't going anyway."

"And I am going to give Kenpachi the key to the front door." He said smirking triumphantly.

"No! Oh great tall and wise father do not subject your daughter to the repugnance that is Kenpachi!" I said mock pleading and mock sucking up.

"Where did you learn the word repugnance?"

"I read it in a book."

"What kind of books are you reading?"

"Well I read mostly fantasy but every so often I like to read a good horror novel. The more descriptive the better."

"You disturb me."

"Oh, have you tried moving the table off of the hose that is supposed to keep the invention thing from blowing up and going on fire."

"What do you mean?"

"Well the water can't go through the hose if the passage way is blocked by having something heavy sit on it."

"Why didn't I notice that?"

"No clue, I mean it is closer to your line of vision than mine."

"Are you mocking me again?"

"Yes, just turn the thing on and see if it works already."

"It works!" Hitsugaya said not really happily but not pissed off like if you catch my drift.

"Now you can leave and I can wear a robe around the house while watching TV and eating ice cream for breakfast."

"You really should work on that telling people things problem," He informed me as he was finishing fiddling with things.

"Yeah I should." I agreed than began to look at the huge machine thing, "What is this thing anyway?"

"How should I know?"

"You invented it."

"To make myself look like an inventor. All I know is that it makes really good smoothies."

"So it makes smoothies?"

"No, but it can."

"What's it _supposed_ to do?"

"Chop wood."

"Then how does it make smoothies?"

"I haven't the faintest idea." He responded staring at the machine as it made me a smoothie even though I inserted some wood into the machine.

"Your right it does make good smoothies."

* * *

Preview from Next Chapter:

_"Why would I open the door for you?" I asked Kenpachi from behind the door since my father had created this moving peephole thing. Personally I think he did it because he is too short to look out a normal peephole. He tried to tell me some lame excuse like it's so that you don't need to bend down to look through the peephole. _

_"Let's go fight!"_

_"Um, I am going with no on that one." I answer back and then he knocks once more but knocks far too hard and the door breaks. "You owe me a door."_


	5. Beauty and the Beast 2

I don't have much more done on this story than I did last week, but there's still time before I run out of chapters and have to write this again, oh wait this is all I have written thus far? That means I have to write? Luckily there's no school Monday so I should be able to write some of this story and do my HW. Yay MLK day!

* * *

Beauty and the Beast

Chapter 2

The next day after my father left in all his short glory (I am not short-Hitsugaya)(You keep telling yourself that) I was visited by a knock at the front door. Fortunately I was not in a robe but fully dressed since father had decided to burn my robe in the back yard. In retaliation I put his pajamas up a tree, a very tall tree. Back to the point Kenpachi came to my door.

"Why would I open the door for you?" I asked Kenpachi from behind the door since my father had created this moving peephole thing. Personally I think he did it because he is too short to look out a normal peephole. He tried to tell me some lame excuse like it's so that you don't need to bend down to look through the peephole.

"Let's go fight!"

"Um, I am going with no on that one." I answer back and then he knocks once more but knocks far too hard and the door breaks. "You owe me a door."

"No door can keep me from my destined one."

"Just because I kicked you once and you fell into a puddle..."

"That was the only time anyone has ever floored me."

"It was slippery and raining..."

"Your kick was so strong that I had a bruise."

"And I was wearing steel toed boots."

"Will you fight with me?"

"No."

"How about marrying me?"

"Definitely no."

"So fighting me has more of a chance than marrying me. What if we fought and if I win you marry me."

"Or I could not."

"Come on, just one fight?"

"If I fight you once and lose you will claim that I agreed to marry you and if by some miracle I win then you would be even more in love with me. I am going to continue with my answer of no."

"I still think that you will come around…"

"Well you are mistaken."

"I guess I should go beat up Ikkaku since you won't fight with me." Kenpachi said, I swear he pouted.

"Yes leave this place."

* * *

So cue another song while I feed some chickens and then twirl around in a meadow with wild flowers. Spinning, spinning, oh look the horse Byakuya is back.

"What happened Bya? Why are you back? Did you want me to brush your hair?" I asked the horse who nodded about the hair brushing. After I brushed his hair Bya started to freak out once more. Wait, where is my father? "Did something happen to father?" I asked and Bya nodded his head. "Will you take me to him?" I asked and Bya neighed. I took that to mean that he wanted a carrot. After I gave him a carrot we were on our way to save my father from something.

* * *

Flashback to what I skipped before because I wasn't in it

Hitsugaya traveled on the road with his wood chopping smoothie making invention and his trusty horse Byakuya. Wait that's a lie the horse isn't trusty. In fact the horse is quite cold to him, but the horse seems to like his daughter so she usually rides him.

So as Hitsu was traveling and the road suddenly split. There was the happy trail of good feelings to the left and the path of death doom and destruction to the right. Hitsu being the little genius that he is started to urge Bya to go on the right hand side where the doom is.

Byakuya decided to try to go down the happy trail, unfortunately for the both of them Hitsu had the reigns. So the two of them went down the trail of death. As predicted by the horse, Bya, they ran into some trouble in the form of a pack of hungry wolves.

Bya promptly separated himself from the invention and kicked Hitsu towards the wolves as a human sacrifice as he ran back to where I was. Hitsu cursed Bya and ran through the woods away from the wolves. Magically he made it into a large gated castle place. He, being the kind person he is, knocked on the door and then waited a second and decided no one was home. Contrary to Hitsu's belief of the castle being empty he heard a loud and happy voice invite him in.

When Hitsu entered he met a candlestick and a clock.

"Look what you did Naruto, baka!" the clock scolded the candlestick.

"But Sakura-chan, he was cold and looks lost." The candlestick whined.

"You shouldn't worry about random strangers! You know how he will react."

"But he was there and I was there…"

"Baka." The clock muttered glaring at the visitor who was glaring back icily.

"What are you?" Hitsu asked staring at them trying to figure out why the inanimate objects could talk to him. Maybe he was finally crazy?

"I am a candlestick!" Naruto shouted happily.

"That's not what he meant, Baka!" Sakura the clock shouted back.

"Well I am just going to go sit on that chair over there." Hitsu said sitting in front of the fireplace in the nicest chair in the room.

"Oh no not in the master's chair!" Sakura exclaimed as the footstool, Kiba came over and offered his services.

"See even Kiba wants to make him comfy." Naruto said smugly to Sakura.

"Well Kiba is an idiot." (Yes I know that I use Baka for idiot sometimes and idiot other times…I don't know why I keep switching back and forth between the two) Sakura countered.

"Stupid footstool do I look like someone who needs to put their feet up?" Hitsu asked irritated because in the huge chair his feet don't really touch the floor so putting them up on a footstool would be silly.

"Who is that?" Grimmjow asked coming into the room noticing someone on his chair. "I see you are here to fight with me!" Grimmjow said that last part with excitement.

"No, but if you wish to fight I will." Hitsugaya said standing from the chair.

"Never mind you are too short, it wouldn't be a fun battle. Over too quickly."

"What? I am not short!" Hitsu said angrily preparing to attack Grimmjow.

"Hey guys, you are not supposed to fight, it's not in the Script." The armoire, Linda, told them even though she was supposed to be in her room.

"What are we supposed to do?" Grimmjow asked annoyed that whenever he tried to fight someone he gets stopped.

"Well you're supposed to be all 'so you've come to stare at the beast?' and then Hitsu should be all nervous and deny it." Linda said trying to imitate Grimmjow's voice but failing miserably.

"Me nervous not happening."

"Then Grimmjow is supposed to throw Hitsu in the dungeon so that Hitsu's daughter will come and save him."

"So that's how she comes here. Fine we'll do that." Gimmjow said dragging Hitsu off to the dungeon because the script said so.

* * *

Back to me because I said so

As I was riding on Bya, who was taking his time to get to where my father was, I reached a fork in the road.

"Ok so to the left is the trail of happy feelings and to the right is the path of death doom and destruction. Let me guess he went right?" I asked Bya causing him to snort in agreement. "I thought he was smart, since he is an inventor and all." Bya simply shook his head no and continued to meander through the forest.

* * *

Preview from next chapter:

_"What took you so long?"_

_"Blame Bya he didn't want me to come, he wanted me to leave you here and feed him apples."_

_"Stupid horse."_

_"So father how did you get stuck in there?"_

_"Stupid beast locked me up."_

_"Why didn't you break out using some invention?"_

_"Using what, smoothies?"_


	6. Beauty and the Beast 3

Okay to the person who requested little mermaid...we were planning on doing it anyway but we were going to have Gin be flounder. Bya is going to be Sebastian because Bya is all follow the rules like. Sadly that story is not the one I will be writing next, the next one will be Sleeping Beauty.

This one is much longer than Snow White and will be more than three chapters, so enjoy!

* * *

For some odd reason, even though I went on the same route as my father, I did not get attacked by any wolves. Apparently they like short people and not tall people. Bya led me to a castle place, even though Bya never actually accompanied my father this far but instead ran away earlier, and I stared at it.

"Well isn't this tall and dark." I muttered to myself stepping towards the doors. I knocked politely but the door opened itself so I let myself in. "Anyone there?" I asked since it was odd that a door would randomly open itself for me. Unless the door liked me? Can doors like people?

"Here father, father, father." I called out hoping that I would magically summon him with my words. It might work you never know. I waited in silence for a bit and realized that no one was going to answer me. I thought I saw some light go down some corridor so I followed it to the dungeon, where I saw my father. "Father." I said rushing to his side.

"What took you so long?"

"Blame Bya he didn't want me to come, he wanted me to leave you here and feed him apples."

"Stupid horse."

"So father how did you get stuck in there?"

"Stupid beast locked me up."

"Why didn't you break out using some invention?"

"Using what, smoothies?"

"That's right all your inventions wind up making smoothies."

"Anyway get me out of here."

"Okay," I said looking around for the key that was held in the hand of the beast, "Could I borrow that?" I asked nicely. When asking for favors always ask nicely.

"No." The beast replied causing me to glare at him a bit. Then I decided to ask one more time.

"Can I please use the key and set my father free?"

"No."

"What did he do?" I asked suddenly curious and ignoring my father cursing at me for not getting him out.

"He sat in my chair."

"And?"

"Came into my house uninvited."

"He did?"

"Well the candlestick invited him in."

"So he just sat in your chair?"

"It's my favorite."

"Did you want to sit there?"

"No."

"Then why would it bother you that he was sitting there?"

"I don't really know." The beast thought then realized something. "Hey aren't you supposed to be all 'Let me take the place of my father' and 'OMG it's a beast!'?"

"First of all did you really just say OMG? And secondly why take his place when you can prove his innocence and no one has to suffer?"

"What about the plot?"

"Oh yeah that. Fine I'll stay here in his place, you better be grateful shorty." I said looking at my father who was already in the evil coach thing preparing to go back to the safety of our home. Such a nice parent he is.

"He left in a hurry." the beast remarked.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye..." I said trailing off looking out the window because it was there.

"Well are you coming?" the beast asked angry for no apparent reason.

"Where?"

"Your room."

"Sweet. I get my own room in a castle, what else could I want?"

"Freedom?" the candlestick supplied.

"Excuse me beast thing whatever, but um did you just hear that candlestick talk?"

"Yes, it does that, a lot. He's quite annoying actually."

"Oh I thought for a second that I was crazy."

"The talking candlestick made you think you were crazy not the giant beast man thing?" the beast asked amused by my reaction.

"Inanimate objects talking to you is usually a severe sign of insanity." I replied as if that explained everything, "You, my big blue friend, are not an inanimate object and thus are allowed to talk."

"I need to tell you one rule about the castle, don't go into the west wing."

"Why not?"

"It's forbidden."

"Obviously since you just told me it was, but why?"

"Because I said so."

"Not a very good reason."

"By the way you are going to have dinner with me." he said trying to switch the topic from the west wing.

"Okay." I mean who turns down food, not me.

* * *

"Th-There's a girl in the castle!" Hinata the tea cup told Neji the teapot.

"Stop spreading your main branch, I mean tea cup lies." Neji scolded tossing her into a bowl of soapy water.

"There's a girl in the castle." the feather duster Sasuke said sashaying in.

"S-see." Hinata mumbled to herself hiding behind some bubbles.

"Sasuke how dare you try to lie to me." Neji responded.

"We both know that since I am an Uchiha and thus always right that means that there is a girl in the castle." Sasuke the feather duster said while glaring.

"So it might be true, but at least I never hit on the candlestick."

"I am not gay."

"Lies."

"They are not lies, besides I saw you looking at the dobe too."

"How can you not he's so bright, and not mentally."

"So you don't deny that you are gay for Naruto?"

"I am not gay for Naruto I merely respect him for beating me."

"Then I am not gay for him either, he is just my rival."

"Sure your not." the wardrobe Linda remarked.

"You're not even supposed to be down here, in fact you should be talking to the girl in her room right now."

"That's right, I wonder how I got to be two places at once? Mysteries mysteries." Linda wondered walking away from them and back into the room, but if she was already there than how can she walk back?

* * *

When I reached my room the talking wardrobe started…talking.

"Hi I'm Linda."

"Hello. I was just wondering something, why is there a girly room here?"

"We've been wondering that ourselves."

Our conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I called.

"It's Neji."

"Come in then..." I said not knowing who the crap Neji was. A teapot and some cups came into the room and talked.

"I'm Neji," Said the Teapot, "And this is Hinata."

"Okay."

"Here's your Tea, Hinata go."

"V-very n-nice t-to meet y-you." Hinata stuttered out shyly coming over to me and allowing me to drink out of her. That sounded weird but I will ignore it.

"Nice to meet you too."

"You did a brave thing today." Neji informed me.

"You mean the whole going down the path of death doom and destruction?" I asked wondering how they knew about that.

"No the offering yourself in exchange for your father's safety." Linda clarified helpfully.

"Oh that. This means that I can no longer have anything that I wished for in life, since I have to live here and stuff."

"It was Fate that brought you here you can't go against fate." Neji informed me taking Hinata with him and leaving me alone once more in my room.

"Well that was strange."

"Well you better get dressed for dinner."

"Okay, into what."

"Lets see what I've got." Linda said looking in her own drawers, "

You could wear this one but it's ugly."

"How about a not ugly outfit?"

"I like this one, it's for me. Um how about this one?"

"How short is that skirt?" I asked noticing that it was really small.

"That's a skirt?"

"What else would it be when you pulled out a shirt with it?"

"Underwear?"

"No Linda, No."

"Fine you can wear this." Linda aid finally holding out an acceptable piece of clothing."

"Why didn't you pull that out first?"

"Not as much fun."

"Are you ready yet?" asked the beast from behind the door.

"No."

"Then you are not coming to dinner with me, fine you can starve." The beast said angrily.

"Did I say that?" I asked Linda.

"No."

"I'm confused now."

"Me too." Linda agreed.

"There's only one thing to do now since I can't eat."

"What?"

"Nap time."

* * *

Preview From next Chapter:

_"I need your help." Hitsugaya said calmly._

_"With what?" someone in the tavern asked._

_"He's got Candice (Author/Narrator/person in case you didn't know) locked in the dungeon!"_

_"Who?" Kenpachi asked wondering why he never thought of doing that._

_"A beast." Hitsu answered simply not really caring if they believed him. In fact if it wasn't for the plot he wouldn't even be there._

_"Crazy Short Hitsugaya." Some people from the tavern muttered after throwing Hitsu out of the tavern since he was ruining their good time with his presence._


	7. Beauty and the Beast 4

Nothing to say...other than I have to write more of this...

* * *

Now I could subject the world to Kenpachi and Ikkaku singing a song together about how great Kenpachi is...but I think I will just skip that. Important parts are that the three blonds hit on Kenpachi (yes even Deidara) and Ikkaku got beaten up...a lot. So we can safely cut to the part where Hitsugaya stumbles into the tavern.

"I need your help." Hitsugaya said calmly.

"With what?" someone in the tavern asked.

"He's got Candice (Author/Narrator/person in case you didn't know) locked in the dungeon!"

"Who?" Kenpachi asked wondering why he never thought of doing that.

"A beast." Hitsu answered simply not really caring if they believed him. In fact if it wasn't for the plot he wouldn't even be there.

"Crazy Short Hitsugaya." Some people from the tavern muttered after throwing Hitsu out of the tavern since he was ruining their good time with his presence.

"I'm not short," Hitsu shouted stomping away through the snow to go to his house and make himself hot chocolate.

"That gives me an idea!" Kenpachi announced telling Ikkaku his ingenious plan. Then they resumed singing and even danced with one another. Yeah...um let's skip that too.

* * *

Meanwhile with the Beast

"Did she really refuse food? She seemed fine with it before." Grimmjow said walking into his room kicking a chair across the room because he felt like it. "Why am I talking to myself?"

"I dunno." Said a table.

"I thought that all the objects in this room didn't talk."

"Well that would be strange wouldn't it, one room with no talking, singing, dancing, walking inanimate objects but everywhere else there is?"

"That would be odd. Although I did trash this room so maybe I killed them all, since nothing else talks."

"Yes you did. Then you left me there with this glowing rose on me, how am I supposed to sleep with that shining in my face?"

"Anyway, why is there an oddly girly mirror here? I thought this was my room."

"The enchantress left that, it's his/her...Tousen's creepy stalker mirror."

"Really, what's it do?"

"Shows you people when you ask it to."

"Sweet. Show me the girl." he asked the mirror causing it to glow green...a very pretty green. "She's sleeping."

"Really, maybe she was tired."

"That's so boring."

* * *

I was planning on sneaking out to go to the kitchen and grab a snack but I was distracted by some noise behind the conveniently placed curtain.

"Hold still dobe..."

"Teme let me go."

"Um hello." I called out watching as the candlestick and a feather duster emerged from behind the curtain.

"Hello," the candlestick Naruto called out brightly, "I was just beating the Teme in a spar."

"You wish dobe, I had just pinned you down so I win."

"Nu-uh I could have gotten out."

"So that's what was going on." I thought out loud.

"What did you think was happening." Sasuke asked.

"I thought that Sasuke was raping you or something." I answered honestly.

"I am not gay." Sasuke yelled as Naruto stared open mouthed at me and nodded his head in consent to the not gay statement.

"Now that I think about it that does not make much sense." I mused out loud.

"Thank you." Sasuke muttered.

"I always thought of a feather duster as more womanly and more of an Uke than a candlestick is."

"What?" Sasuke asked pissed.

"Yeah maybe I should shut up now." I muttered to myself. Eventually I might be able to think inside my head once more and not say it out loud.

"I want Ramen." Naruto announced randomly.

"I could go for some right now myself." I answered.

"You like Ramen?" Naruto asked really enthusiastically.

"Yes?" I ask stated.

"You are my new bestest best friend." Naruto announced starting to bounce to the kitchen to get the both of us some Ramen.

"Dobe, bestest isn't even a word."

"Then why did you just say it?" I asked mockingly.

"I'm leaving." Sasuke said then he left. Amazing how things work out like that.

"You know what him leaving means?" I asked Naruto smiling.

"No, what?" he asked.

"More Ramen for us!"

"Yay!" Naruto shouted, probably waking the entire place up, and bounced ran faster.

* * *

After Naruto and I had our fill of ramen, and after Naruto sang a song about Ramen, Sakura (the clock) decided that I should go back to sleep.

"But I've been sleeping for like 12 hours already." I whined exaggerating.

"What about a tour?" Naruto asked excited over showing off his knowledge or something.

"No." Sakura disputed.

"I bet you know everything about this castle since you seem so smart." I informed her trying to get my way.

"Well I suppose I could show you a bit." Sakura finally conceeded.

The tour consisted of Sakura talking about stuff that I didn't care about and Naruto telling stories that obviously were false. For example when we got to a hallway where a bunch of suits of armor were standing there he said that he personally beat every night in there and earned the title of Hokage because of his greatness. Yeah, I didn't believe him but I pretended to.

Sakura was talking to herself and Naruto was boasting to herself so I decided to look around myself. Their own faults for closing their eyes while talking and walking. If it was me I would have run into something. As I was walking I noticed a staircase but before I could go up it, I thought that it would lead someplace cool, Sakura Naruto and Kiba (the footstool) came and stopped me.

"When did Kiba get here?" I asked not realizing that he had been here.

"You can't go up these stairs." Sakura explained.

"Why not?" I asked not really caring that much.

"It's the west wing." Naruto answered stupidly.

"Baka!" Sakura shouted hitting him in the head.

"This is the west wing?" I asked for confirmation.

"There's nothing interesting there." Sakura stated.

"Just some old garbage." Naruto stated not lying. Seriously everything up there is trashed.

"That means that..." I started trying to get my mind around something...

"I know we have a library." Sakura said desperate to distract me from going up the stairs.

"Books?" I said completely throwing off my thought process.

"Lots of books." Naruto stated then Sakura started to talk about the amount of books and I started to follow because of books. Wait I just remembered my other thought. I looked around and noticed that I had stopped following them and they didn't notice.

"That means that this way is west." I stated happily finally finding out which way is west. "That means this way is east." I stated pointing behind me. "But where are north and south?"

To find out the secret of directions, well it's not really a secret but I just don't know them, I decided to go into the west wing and look for a compass. Compasses point north and since I know south is behind north I can find north. Then I will know where I am.

"So this place is filled with garbage." I stated looking around the west wing and noticing everything is trashed. Then I saw this table which had a shiny rose on it. Shiny! Must stare at shiny. Must resist urge to touch shiny. I just noticed it is floating too, and shooting out sparkles. Oh well one poke won't hurt the rose right.

"Were you seriously going to poke the mysteriously floating glowing rose?" Grimmjow questioned.

"I would say it is more shiny than glowing, but yes."

"Why did you think that would be a good idea?"

"I didn't, think that is."

"Just leave."

"You're chasing me out of the castle?" I asked getting back at him for earlier.

"No I--

"Fine, I'll leave if you really want me to." I said running away. That's what he gets for not listening to me before when I was just trying to get ready to eat. He made me miss a meal and for that he deserved whatever is going to happen when I am gone. Plus if I get away, then I would be free. It's win-win for me, lose-lose for him.

* * *

No Preview this week...


	8. Beauty and the Beast 5

I almost didn't remember to write this, but I did. So the story is almost over the next one is Sleeping Beauty because I wrote notes on it with Linda.

* * *

Escaping! Okay so where is Bya? Oh look he's conveniently located by the gate.

"Why are you by the gate?" I asked curiously, forgetting that I was escaping.

"Neigh." Bya answered. Sometimes I forget that he's a horse.

"I am going to take that as you wanted to leave because I was ignoring you, and you want some oats." As I was riding through the snow, when did it start snowing? I realized one very important thing, I am wearing a cloak. "A cloak!"

I continued riding through the woods and not on the trail, bad idea, I should have stuck to the trail even if it was the trail of death doom and destruction. You know why because there are wolves in the forest. They shouldn't be on the trail.

Wait my father was attacked by wolves on the trail! They have broken their boundaries and encroached upon our area! They must be destroyed! By someone that is not me, because sadly my cloak is not magical (like Urahara's cloak in the flashbacks) but a normal cloak. Why didn't I wear the cloak of strength or something? Oh yeah because I don't have something like that.

Soon Bya and I were surrounded by wolves and Bya kicked them like the good horse he is. Unfortunately that wasn't enough to keep them at bay. Luckily the wolves knew I was a wuss so they left me alone. I looked down and noticed a conveniently placed stick and picked it up to start fighting them. I whacked one in the face. I am very proud of myself.

"You want a fight! Fight me!" Grimmjow said as he beat up the wolves.

"Um, I think they are dead." I remarked noticing that he went a little overboard fighting them.

"Well I wouldn't have been so excited to fight something if you just let me fight once in a while."

"Can't it's not in the script."

"You and your scripts. It's not like you are following it correctly anyway."

"That's because I lost the script."

"Then how do you know I'm not supposed to fight everyone."

"Because the moral of the story is not to judge by appearances and really mean, slightly abusive, men can really be sensitive and nice."

"That's a stupid moral."

"Well if I judged you by looks then I would have run away by now."

"Weren't you just doing that?"

"That was just to piss you off."

"Let's go back already."

* * *

When we reached the castle the beast sat in a chair and Neji poured hot water into a bowl and I had a washcloth. I just realized that the washcloth is one of the few non-people objects. Ah I see you are confused. I have decided to call all objects that don't talk or dance around non-people objects because they are not people. Moving on. The beast looked at me confused as I rung out the washcloth so that there was not so much water.

"What are you going to do with that?" Grimmjow asked curiously.

"Disinfect your wound." I answered him stepping closer. Why didn't I put the bowl of water closer to him?

"I don't have a wound." Grimmjow told me.

"You were supposed to be scratched or bitten by the wolves. I was then supposed to treat it apologize and then we would start to get along."

"Well I'm not wounded."

"I guess I will just have to fix that." I said eerily looking around for a sharp pointy object to attack him with.

"You're crazy!" he shouted at me. I could not find a weapon so I pouted and sat in front of him.

"There's no weapons here." I whined up at him.

"You know I think I love you."

"Are you a masochist?" I asked him wondering why he would like someone who wanted to find a weapon to attack him with.

"Aren't you supposed to tell me it is too early to say things like that?"

"It doesn't really matter since I can just pretend I didn't hear it until the correct time."

"Mean."

"Says the beast."

"That's extremely mean."

"Yeah, yeah."

* * *

Meanwhile with Kenpachi

"So I want you to lock up the father of the girl that I like." Kenpachi began telling his ingenious plan.

"Why?" the insane asylum guy asks.

"Well we can blackmail the girl into marrying me in exchange for her father's freedom."

"That seems really evil." the insane asylum guy aka Aizen dun dun dun! (Aizen with his hair all whoosh-y not the glasses Aizen because he is not evil enough)

"I suppose." Kenpachi stated.

"I'm in. One question, is he actually crazy?"

"Well he is really short," Kenpachi began but then noticed Aizen looking at how tall Kenpachi is, "Not just compaired to me either. So he is really short but claims he's not."

"Good enough of an angle for me to go with. Nice doing business with you." Aizen said with his creepy whoosh-hair-smirk-face.

* * *

Meanwhile with Hitsugaya

"I feel like I am going to be committed if I stay home. I should leave, plus I am talking to myself that can't be a good sign." Hitsugaya said leaving the house, after glaring at the hat I told him to wear outside when it is cold. "Like I would wear a hat." He snorted bravely walking into a blizzard. Bwa-ha-ha.

"Why are you evil laughing about that?"

Because I was just outside and there was no blizzard but the environment must hate short people.

"I am not short."

You keep denying that and one day you will randomly pass out on the grown during a blizzard that looks oddly like this in a forest that also looks oddly like this one.

"I'll take my chances."

Then you are doomed. Doomed I say!

* * *

Back to the slightly more sane story line at the empty house, but shh Kenpachi doesn't know that

"Hitsugaya, Candice!" (yeah I don't say the name nearly enough) Kenpachi called as he entered my house uninvited.

"Oh well, they're not here. Let's go find that one guy Ichigo and train." Ikkaku suggested.

"Ichigo huh? No you will stay here until they come back. They must have gone on some winter vacation or something. Have fun freezing." Kenpachi said leaving Ikkaku to sit in front of the house.

* * *

Back at the castle

I was happily playing in the snow with Kiba when I noticed the beast was watching me. "creepy." I muttered but continued to do whatever it is I was doing. Creepy people stare all the time I am used to it.

* * *

To the beast

"I want to get her something." Grimmjow said because that is what I commanded him to say.

"Is it her birthday?" the candlestick Naruto asked.

"Idiot." Sakura said then turned back to talk to Grimmjow, "You can buy her candy, flowers, promises you don't intend to keep." (I love that line from the movie, promises you don't intend to keep)

"I would go with candy." Naruto said giving his two cents.

"I want to give her something special."

"What does she like?" Sakura asked.

"I know!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Other than Ramen." Sakura chastized.

"Oh." Naruto said dejectedly.

"Fine we will just ask the script then." Sakira said removing the script from her clock body.

"You had the script!" Naruto said rusely pointing at Sakura.

"You are going to give her the library."

"Okay, I don't read anyway." Grimmjow decided.

* * *

Time Skip to after I got bored of outside and decided to bother the beast instead

"I have something to show you, but first you have to close your eyes." Grimmjow told me.

"Wouldn't that defeat the purpose of me seeing something?" I asked confused what I can only see with my eyes closed.

"It's a surprise." Grimmjow informed me. "Why don't I just kiss her and end the spell now?"

"Because that would be molestation and you are supposed to be better than that. Plus I have to love you back and if you molest me I won't love you."

"Just close your eyes already."

"Fine." I stated closing my eyes. He lead me into a room and then left me standing in the middle of the floor as he did something that made it seem lighter even with my eyes closed. "Can I open my eyes now?"

"Yeah, jeesh impatient." Grimmjow muttered.

"Books!" I squealed in happiness. I mean I uh said really really happy.

"You like it?" Grimmjow asked wondering why I would like so many books.

"Of course I do there are books here."

"Then it is yours." he said giving the room to me.

"Can you give a room in your house to someone?" I asked wondering how that works.

"I don't know, but you can read the books so you should shut up and be happy."

"Mean—A book ladder thing! Can I ride on it? Can I please?" I pleaded with him excitedly.

"How else would you get the really high books?"

"No I mean riding, not using, riding on the ladder."

"Oh, hey that sounds like fun!" Grimmjow said taking my hand and running with me to the book ladder thing. Then the two of us had good fun ridding on one of the book ladders until we broke it.

* * *

No Preview for you.

Fine you can have a small Preview from next chapter because I am so nice

_"Who did you learn eating habits from," I asked curiously, "Naruto?"_

_"As a matter of fact yes."_


	9. Beauty and the Beast End

Beauty and the Beast ch 6

An undisclosed amount of time later I was eating with the beast, who has horrid table manners, and I stared at him (the beast) as he wolfed down his porridge.

"What?"

"Who did you learn eating habits from," I asked curiously, "Naruto?"

"As a matter of fact yes."

"Wait aren't you supposed to be a prince? Shouldn't a prince know to use a spoon?"

"Shh, don't point out the plot holes." Neji interrupted me.

"What's wrong with my eating habits?" Naruto asked loudly.

"They suck." I said losing my appetite. Okay that's a lie, I just don't like porridge I am more of a cereal or pancakes person.

* * *

Later we were outside feeding birds. Feed the birds tuppence a bag, tuppence tuppence tuppence a bag. Oh wait that's Mary Poppins. When a whole bunch of birds decided to attack Grimmjow, so I did what every caring person would do I laughed. Then I threw a snowball at him. He tried to make an ultra-large-mega-snowball but he failed so I laughed. Then we went and sat by the fire and I read a book to him, because I am nice like that. I even used cool voices and he tried not to laugh but failed.

So some other night we had a dance and Grimmjow and I got dressed in fancy clothes and well danced.

"Yeah like that actually happened." Grimmjow argued with the plot and the narrator.

"True I probably would fall or something."

"So what are we going to do?"

"Let's pretend we did it and skip to you showing me the stalker mirror."

"Fine by me. This is my magic mirror." Grimmjow said preparing to slip back into the plot and making the mirror appear out off nowhere. Wow it is magic.

"What does it do?"

"It shows you whoever you want to see." Grimmjow informed me.

"So it is a magic stalking mirror."

"Yes, I thought we already established that."

"I want to see a short person." I told the mirror hoping it would show Hitsugaya and it did. "Oh no he passed out in the forest because of his denial of being short!"

"That's oddly specific."

"And he did not wear his hat! I have to go yell at him." I told Grimmjow.

"Fine go, just come back." Grimmjow let me go knowing that I would leave anyway.

"I will come back, do you have a hat?" I asked noticing that I had no hat. What a hypocrite.

"You have a cloak, it has a hood." He pointed out.

"You're right. So I do not need at hat because I have a cloak which has a hood."

"Did you really need to repeat that?"

"Not at all." I answered skipping out of the room suddenly happy. How could I not be happy I have a cloak. A cloak! "Wait, I still have your girly stalker mirror."

"Take it with you. It's too girly." Grimmjow said glaring at the mirror.

"Okay, see ya!"

* * *

"Grimmjow, you seem to be getting along with her well. Do you think she will break the curse?" Sakura the clock asked.

"I let her go." Grimmjow said just realizing exactly what he has done.

"But...why?" Sakura asked dragging out the why. (I love it when he says that in the movie)

"I can't believe I let her go, I am so stupid. Why would she come back?" Grimmjow said uncharacteristically sad (for Grimmjow in character for the beast though).

* * *

"He did what?" Neji, Hinata, Naruto and Sasuke shouted at Sakura.

"Yes."

"Now we will never regain our bodies." Sasuke the feather duster complained.

"Yes, I suppose it is fate that you remain a oddly feminine feather duster." Neji taunted.

"Says the tea pot." Sasuke countered.

"Actually I kind of like being a candlestick." Naruto mused.

"W-why?" Hinata managed to ask.

"I can set things on fire!" Naruto said happily.

"Stupid dobe." Sasuke muttered.

"You're just jealous because all you can do is dust things." Naruto countered.

"At least I don't have such a useless head that could melt away if you think too hard."

"Teme."

"Dobe."

"Not to interrupt the lover's spat but Sakura and Hinata have left and I don't think Grimmjow will appreciate the three of us arguing in front of his room." Neji interrupted them.

"Hey Teme let's have a rematch!" Naruto shouted excitedly.

"Sure Dobe, but I am still going to win. Let's fight behind the curtain again." Sasuke proposed.

"Why do you like fighting back there so much?" Naruto asked.

"No reason." Sasuke the feather duster said smirking (the come hither smirk).

"Poor Naruto never saw it coming." the wardrobe Linda remarked scarign the crap out of Neji.

"How did you get here?" Neji asked.

"Um," Linda said not knowing how she got somewhere once again, "Fate."

"Ah." Neji responded.

* * *

"Shorty! Shorty!" I called out desperately trying to find my father in the forest. At least I don't have to worry about wolves this time. I probably should have stuck to the trail though. Oh look there's a dead body over there. "Bya why are we going towards the dead body."

Bya rolled his eyes at me and continued taking me towards the body on the ground.

"Man that dead body is short." I noticed. "Oh no, short...Hitsugaya is dead." I shouted getting off the horse to poke the body with a stick. Several minutes of poking the body with a stick I noticed it was breathing.

"Is it a zombie?" I asked Bya who was ignoring me. "Do zombies breath? Maybe he is just alive." I said deciding the take the body-zombie-shorty back with me to my house which I randomly found.

"That snowman looks bald." I muttered to myself, I am not crazy enough to talk to snowmen thank you very much, as I walked past a snowman by my house. I got the body into the house somehow. A few minutes later I began to wonder who made the snowman since I was not here to make it. I went outside to see if the snowman was still there but it was gone.

"Okay I hallucinated and saw a snowman. That's oddly uneventful. If I am going to hallucinate at least I should see something really cool like flying monkey or bananas in pajamas.

* * *

"Hey shorty you're awake!" I said as Hitsugaya wake up in bed.

"I am not short."

"Do you want to randomly pass out in the forest again?"

"No, so I will avoid going into the forest, it shouldn't be that hard."

"Um, we live right outside the forest, we kind of have to go in it to leave town."

"Then I will never leave."

"I would think it would be simpler just to admit you are short."

"I am not short."

"Fine, fine." I agreed then noticed my bag, which I never realized I had until this precise moment, was moving. I opened it to fin Hinata stowed away inside.

"H-Hello."

"Okay, now we have a tea cup!" I said sputtering nonsense about the happiness of finally owning a tea cup. Please ignore the fact that I have owned numerous tea cups but have broken them all over Kenpachi's head. I was interrupted from my babbling by a knock at the door.

I swiftly walked over to the door and stupidly didn't check to see who it was first.

"Hello." Aizen said moving his fingers in the evil 'excellent' type motion.

"Holy Crap! Aizen!" I shouted going to close the door on him.

"I have come to collect your father." Aizen said creepily.

"My father? Okay, what did he do now?"

"Don't worry we will take good care of him." Aizen said showing the crappy looking cart that says something about an insane asylum on it.

"Really, somehow I don't believe you. Plus you do realize that my father is not crazy."

"He denies his short-ness."

"Well in that case you should take Kenpachi also since he denies that I do not like him."

"You do like me you are just in denial." Kenpachi said from the crowd.

"He was also raving about a beast." Ikkaku offered.

"Well there is a beast. I can prove it." I said going back inside to get the mirror.

"What are you going to prove with that girly mirror?"

"Show me the beast." I told the mirror revealing a picture of the beast in the forest completely slaughtering some bears. Apparently he was bored so he decided to fight them. Probably not the best time to show them him. Oh well too late now.

"Look at him kill those bears, what proof do we have that he will not attack us too?" Random fat villager asked.

"Actually he probably will try to kill you. He really likes fighting too." I mused.

"We won't be safe until his head is mounted on my wall I say we kill the beast!" Kenpachi declared taking the girly mirror. It looks really silly in his hands. Then Kenpachi started to sing and get everyone to form an angry mob.

"If you're not with us you're against us." Kenpachi said throwing me, rudely, into the cart with Hitsugaya.

"When did you get put in here?"

"A while ago." Hitsugaya answered.

"Let us out." I said in perfect time with the music.

"You planned to say that at the perfect time didn't you?" Hitsugaya asked.

"Or course."

* * *

The mob scene that I am not in....

More singing and then Kenpachi set a hey stack on fire. Was that really necessary? He's going to accidentally burn down the village. Stupid pyros. Then there was a line about grabbing your horse and your torch. No one else had a horse but Kenpachi. Where did his horse come from? Why does he get a horse but everyone else has to walk? Plus they walked through the village, I thought the castle was in the woods which were behind the house? I am so confused I will just skip to the next part.

* * *

Back in the castle where I am not at either

Kiba was barking at the window and everyone was hoping it was me so they all went to the window to look at me. Unfortunately it was not me but an angry mob of villagers.

"'Word I can't spell nor feel like looking up' invaders!" Naruto said.

"Intruders!" Sakura said.

"They have the oddly girly mirror!" Neji announced.

"If it's a fight they want it is a fight they will get!" Sakura announced not noticing that everyone was already gone.

* * *

Mob time again

"Take any booty you can find but the beast is mine!" Kenpachi declared.

"Did he say booty? Are we stealing their stuff?"

"I think he said anybody. Stupid author writing the wrong stuff."

"Did he say boobie?"

"Definately not."

"I was hoping..."

"Pervert."

* * *

In the castle

"This isn't working!" Sasuke said from on top of a pile of objects that are animate.

"Wait I have an idea!" Naruto announced excitedly. We will all ignore the fact that Neji isn't helping but just standing by the door and saying that they are under attack.

"Stupid unpredictable ninja-candlestick." Sasuke muttered angry that Naruto thought of something when he couldn't.

* * *

"What should we do master? Stupid main branch." Neji asked Grimmjow after Neji realized that he was not helping downstairs at all. The fact that everyone was already doing stuff is besides the point.

"It doesn't matter let them come." Grmmjow said grinning at the chance to fight.

* * *

Naruto's ingenious plan was to pretend to be inanimate objects and attack people. This worked oddly well. The chest ate someone, Linda made a guy wear an ugly pink tutu, and Neji burned people with hot water...good times. Until someone tried to pluck Sasuke's feathers and Naruto set him on fire. Actually I don't see the problem, oh yeah the Sasuke violation.

"I feel so violated." Sasuke muttered.

"It's okay Sasuke." Naruto said hugging Sasuke to try to make him feel better.

* * *

Back to where I am...finally

"I want a smoothie." Hinata said to herself. "What does this button do." (she was apparently possessed by Linda for a second). Hinata then drove the smoothie making contraption into the basement where Hitsugaya and I were hiding, I mean captured. So I got out, sweet freedom.

* * *

Back at the castle

Everyone finished fighting except for Kenpachi because he was still looking for the beast. Apparently he got lost. So Kenpachi finally finds Grimmjow and the get locked in a really cool fight. I don't feel like describing it because that would just belittle the awesomeness but I will tell you there was plenty of kicks to the face. In the middle of it I finally made it back to the castle on my trusty horse Bya and wearing my cloak of almighty power. Fine that last part is a lie but I was wearing a cloak though.

"Kenpachi, Grimmjow! You started fighting without me? I didn't even get to shout Mortal Kombat!" I said sadly rushing into the castle to yell at them. In response they quickly resumed their fight so that they would be done before I got up there.

The fight ended with Grimmjow mercilessly beating Kenpachi and then showing, I mean pushing, I mean accidentally making him fall off the roof. Yeah it wasn't on purpose at all. Not buying it. Sadly Kenpachi is no push-over (bad joke-he is a push over because he got pushed over) so he beat the crap out of Grimmjow.

"It seems like you're dieing." I muttered looking at Grimmjow about to pass out, "That can't be in the script."

"It is." Linda remarked since she is the holder of the script.

"Oh, well that's sad because I wanted to stay here and ride ladders with him." I said sadly watching him die.

"I am going to take that as you love him." Tousen's voice said out of nowhere. "If you don't marry him then the curse will be back on."

"Dang it! Oh well at least he has nice abs." I said ignoring Grimmjow's transformation it is unimportant.

"Haha, you have to marry me!" Grimmjow taunted.

"You have to marry me." I pointed out.

"At least you're not weak." Grimmjow said accepting our marriage.

"You know what I just realized?" I asked staring at Grimmjow.

"What?" Grimmjow asked curiously.

"You have the same color hair as my father, Siegmund Freud was right!" (1)

* * *

Meanwhile with the candlestick and feather duster

Naruto and Sasuke changed back into their human forms. Naruto wearing a butler's uniform and Sasuke wearing a Maid's.

"Why am I in a maids uniform which is a dress?" Sasuke asked the powers that be but they ignored him because they were too busy laughing at their own joke.

"Haha, Teme!" Naruto laughed at him.

"Come here dobe." Sasuke said evilly making Naruto go into an empty room with him.

"Why Teme?" Naruto asked going into the room. Stuff happened...umm think what you will and then Sasuke emerged with a huge smirk on his face. The odd thing about that was that he was now wearing a butler's uniform.

A few minuted later Neji came by, wearing some really cool manly clothes, and heard a noise from the empty room. Neji went in to check on it. Neji entered the room but it seemed empty. It wasn't until he heard the door lock that he realized that it was not. He turned around to reveal Naruto wearing a maid's outfit.

"Hello Neji." Naruto said evilly before stuff happened...again think what you will. A few minutes later Naruto emerged wearing the oddly cool manly clothes and went to go find Sasuke.

Neji emerged moments later. He was planning on heading strait to his room, since he was wearing the maid uniform, but another maid saw him and put him to work. Neji did not dare correcting her since that would reveal the fact that he was a male wearing a dress. It wasn't until a random butler hit on him that he snapped and everyone discovered that he was in drag. Good times were had by all, except for Neji.

The End.

* * *

(1)Just in case some of you didn't know Siegmund Freud is the Psychologist that says that all men secretly desire their mothers and hate their fathers. He also says that all females unconsciously view their father as the perfect man and will seek men like their father.

* * *

I would give you a preview for Sleeping Beauty but I don't have any of it written, I can however tell you some of the characters and who they will be replacing.

As usual I will replace the princess-Aurora because I can (it's easier that way-lazy)

Linda is the evil fairy queen thing

Sasuke is the blue fairy

Naruto is the orange fairy (he's replacing the green one)

Itachi is the fairy that is obsessed with pink (I guess the red one)

Kenpachi is the prince

and Shikamaru is my father


	10. Sleeping Beauty

I am back! Well this story is back. Eventually Another Random Day will be back...I just need to see Linda more or start writing it without her but that's not as much fun. Anyways you can thank Writer's Block in my other stories for this one being written.

Also since I am still writing this and only have a small piece written I make no promises for weekly updates...I say that but then I feel bad when I don't and I write anyway. Sucks for me is good for you.

* * *

Sleeping Beauty

Once upon a time there was a land far away that threw big parties for everyone's birthdays. Unfortunately E-mail wasn't invented so they had to send each invitation separately and in paper form. So, when the new princess was born they sent invitations to almost everyone. I say almost because of the plot. They even invited three fairies who they probably should have conveniently forgotten, but they didn't.

Another problem with this whole invitation thing is that it is troublesome in the words of the king, so he made his wife send all the invitations out herself. With that many people and only one person anyone would forget someone, even if they have a big forehead and pink hair.

One might argue that they purposefully forgot to send an invitation to the evil queen fairy due to the fact that the evil queen fairy is in fact evil. I like to think that it was merely a misunderstanding. I personally would have invited the evil queen fairy and gotten on her good side so that she would not destroy me. If I was really nice she might even destroy my enemies for me and I could take over the world. Luckily for everyone I am not in charge of the invitations since at this time I was merely a baby. Besides ruling over the entire world seems far too troublesome.

The Queen Sakura and King Shikamaru threw a big party for their newborn daughter, me, personally I think I was adopted. I am lazy though, so maybe not. At the party there were many people, as I already mentioned, including the King and Queen of the land next to ours, Queen Ino and King Chouji. If you have noticed I keep putting the queen's names first, that is because they are the ones that are actually in charge in the relationship.

Continuing back to the plot the Queen Ino and my mother Queen Sakura decided that their children should be married later in life. They wanted to be family so that they could both talk about how hot one of the fairies is. They were also best friends so I guess it was their dream to become sisters and this was the perfect way to almost become sisters.

The Prince of that land's name is Kenpachi. So before I even knew anything, I was destined to marry Kenpachi, I did not know of this until later though but you get to know it because it's part of the plot. Queen Ino decided that since they were already there Kenpachi would get his first look at his future wife.

"She's ugly." Kenpachi said making a face. I promptly threw my rattle at him, take that. "Never mind I like her." Kenpachi said with a grin.

"Good, because you were going to marry her anyway." Ino declared.

The three fairies then arrived, a bit late since everyone else who was invited already showed up. The three of them poofed into existence in front of Queen Sakura and King Shikamaru because they are fairies and have magic. Instantly Queen Ino and Queen Sakura were next to the blue fairy telling him how cool he is and asking to have his children. Both kings were used to this though so they merely continued doing what they were doing before; Shikamaru slouching on his thrown and Chouji stealing food from the food table.

"Hello!" The orange fairy, Naruto, greeted enthusiastically.

"Greetings." Itachi the pink fairy growled out annoyed, perhaps because he is the pink fairy and now he is pissed at the author of this story...

"Hn." The blue fairy, Sasuke, grunted still trying to separate himself from the two queens.

The three fairies stood their blinking as their greetings were ignored, then Itachi shrugged and walked over to the cradle to stare at the baby. Naruto skipped over to the cradle and started talking baby talk to the baby.

"Perhaps we should give our gifts now, before we forget and have to travel here again." Itachi said not-so-secretly-secretly hating it there. Too many annoying people, Sasuke agrees with him.

"Yeah!" The orange fairy agreed jumping in the air with his fist raised for no apparent reason.

"Hn." Sasuke oh so eloquently agreed. Luckily for Sasuke at the mention of gifts the queens focused on the other two fairies wondering what gifts they would bestow upon her child.

"What are you going to give my daughter?" Sakura asked Itachi since he was standing in front of the cradle like he was about to give the gift first, which he was.

"Can I have a gift too?" Ino asked then continued after thinking for a second, "Can you also give Kenpachi something other than fighting ability and spiky hair?"

"I gave him the gift of bells." Naruto pouted because his gift had been forgotten.

"Dobe, that is one of the stupidest gifts you have ever given. The gift of bells staying in the spiky hair that my brother gave him." Sasuke taunted.

"What did you give him?" Naruto asked having completely forgotten.

"I gave him the ability to fight, that is at least useful—unlike spiky hair and bells." Sasuke retorted.

"Personally I secretly hate him so he deserves the spiky hair." Itachi stated again not-so-secretly.

"Can you just give the gifts already so that I, I mean we, can eat?" Chouji asked.

"Fine." Itachi said brandishing his wand and pointing it at me, the baby me, and after a shwoosh and a flick...wait that's harry potter...a milky way appeared. Well a small milky way. It was pretty so I stared at it. "I give her the gift of beauty, so that I can stare at her."

"You do realize we are leaving after this and not coming back right?" Sasuke asked glaring at his brother because he was secretly going to give the exact same gift but Itachi got to go first. Itachi with his being-better-than-Sasuke-ness, he deserves to be glared at so glaring is exactly what Sasuke did.

"Just in case something happens and I get to be in her presence for a while I want to be able to stare at her, is that so wrong?" Itachi asked.

"Yes." Sasuke answered.

"Troublesome." Shikamaru agreed.

"My turn! Pick me!" the orange fairy shouted jumping up and down excitedly.

"Fine, Dobe." Sasuke agreed since now he needed to figure out a new gift to give, stupid Itachi.

"Yay! Okay!" Naruto said waving his wand around frantically causing a milky way to appear. This one had birds in it for some odd reason. And it was spinning, but so was the other one but I didn't mention that then. "I give the gift of song." Naruto announced proudly.

"Dobe why would you give her such a useless gift."

"I like music, so I wanted her to be able to sing." Naruto countered.

"You could have given her anything, intelligence--

"Fighting ability." Kenpachi interrupted.

"Or a long and happy life, but you, dobe, chose music." Sasuke finished glaring at Kenpachi because he dared interrupt the great Sasuke.

"Music makes people happy. Plus she can talk to birds. Birds!" Naruto exclaimed excited over the fact that the princess could talk to birds. So his real reason comes out.

"Dobe." Sasuke muttered being too awed by Naruto's stupidity to say anything else. "My turn." Sasuke said elegantly beginning to move his wand until he was interrupted by a poof. No it was more like an explosion of green fire.

"Green fire is pretty." The evil fairy queen person Linda remarked after she appeared, unknowingly interrupting Sasuke.

"How dare you interrupt me!" Sasuke shouted and started to go to attack Linda but was held back by Naruto.

"How come I wasn't invited?" Linda wondered. "Who're you calling a creature? I am a fairy with a green shiny ball...shiny."

"Who called her a creature?" Chouji asked. Oh wait that was in a different version of sleeping beauty...the author quickly apologized.

"I want to come to the party and have a golden plate." Linda stated. Psst Linda. "What narrator Candice?" That was in a children's book version of sleeping beauty that is in my house not the Disney one that I decided to base the story off of. "Does that mean you are not going to make the evil fairy thing have a man voice?" Umm, do you have a man voice? "No." Then no. "Then what am I supposed to do or say right now?"

"Troublesome fairies, just give the baby your gifts already." Shikamaru said.

"Fine, then I will give the baby the gift of sparkles!" Linda shouted imagining all the sparkles that would soon be flying around.

"I guess that's fine." Sakura said relieved that her baby was no longer threatened. Sadly the plot says no. Linda do it right or I will take your crow Hitsugaya away from you.

"Fine, he's my shorty though. My gift is actually a curse but shhh you don't know that right now because I am saying it as if it is a gift and not what it really is which is a curse." Linda began causing everyone to look at her weird. "On her 16th birthday the princess will prick her finger on a spinning wheel and die. Death!" Linda said waving her staff with the pretty green ball on it around.

"Gasp!" Everyone gasped. If I was the evil fairy queen I would have given the curse when no one was around so that they would not know about the spinning wheel, it's good that I am not. Wouldn't that be a boring story.

"Bwahaha cough..." Linda said evil laughing but it turned into a cough, oh well maybe next time you will succeed Linda. Then the guards tried to attack her but she turned into green fire and left. "Pretty green fire transportation!"

"What are we going to do?" Sakura asked.

"Sasuke has not given his gift yet." Itachi pointed out glaring at his little brother in a you-better-help-her-so-i-can-stare-creepily way.

"You can reverse the curse?" Shikamaru asked impressed.

"No." Sasuke muttered but everyone heard him anyway.

"This is why you are weak little brother." Itachi taunted.

"You wouldn't be able to reverse it either." Sasuke pointed out snottily.

"Can't you at least help, I mean even I could change the curse." Naruto countered.

"Do I have to?" Sasuke asked glaring at the impressed Ino and Sakura who looked like they were preparing to pounce.

"Yes." Everyone hissed in random creepy unison that is only possible in movies.

"Fine. The curse will be that she will be pricked and then will sleep until ummm that prince there wakes her from her slumber." Sasuke said pointing at Kenpachi during that 'that prince' part. "I have spoken." Sasuke finished.

"Foolish little brother, you could have said that she would get pricked but become a better person afterwards." Itachi scolded.

"OR she could suddenly become a better cook and make me ramen." Naruto offered.

"Yeah, but who would want to read that story?" Sasuke asked pointing out the best point ever.

"I would." Naruto whined thinking about his love, Ramen. Capitalized for flavor and importance.

* * *

Preview from next chapter:

_"If we do not help the princess by foiling Linda's evil plans then the kingdom with go into despair and we live in the kingdom, do you know how many unhappy people will try to commit suicide in our presence?" Itachi asked already picturing people coming to their home to die. Why they would go there to die I shall never know._

_"Let them." Sasuke not caring about the millions of lives that were just lost in his brother's imagination, brutally no less._

_"Fine, you clean up the mess then." Itachi informed him._

_"Ugh, you just want to help because you like staring at her." Sasuke said whining slightly. "Uchiha's don't whine." Sasuke informed the author. Fine Sasuke said in a manly complaint-ive voice. Happy? "Very." Stupid Sasuke making me use a word that does not exist._


	11. Sleeping Beauty 2

Should I click the box thinggy that says crossovers or should I keep this story in Bleach? Kind of unfair to strict Naruto fans, although strict Naruto fans would not like a Bleach and Naruto story anyway.

Also I am going to start responding to reviews starting this chapter, because I just realized I could and not responding before now might have been rude. I didn't mean to!

Sleeping Beauty ch 2

After the party ended, they have to finish the party other wise it would be a waste of food, all the spinning wheels in the kingdom were put in a large stack. Point one for the good people, getting rid of the spinning wheels. Sadly their opponent is an evil fairy queen who has magic and can make a spinning wheel out of nothing. But they tried really they did.

Then they burned all the spinning wheels. A good time was had by all. They told stories, roasted marshmallows and danced around the fire. Everyone who was anyone was there, especially the pyros. The only people not there were the three fairies who were watching from a room in the palace.

"Ramen!" Naruto said causing large amounts of Ramen to appear out of nowhere for no reason other than he wanted ramen. If you had his powers you know you would do something similar.

"That's not going to stop Linda." Itachi stated glaring down at the fire. If it was his fire it would be so much cooler, and black.

"Why should we care?" Sasuke asked wondering why it was his problem that the stupid princess was going to be cursed.

"That's mean." Naruto said between bites of his ramen.

"If we do not help the princess by foiling Linda's evil plans then the kingdom with go into despair and we live in the kingdom, do you know how many unhappy people will try to commit suicide in our presence?" Itachi asked already picturing people coming to their home to die. Why they would go there to die I shall never know.

"Let them." Sasuke not caring about the millions of lives that were just lost in his brother's imagination, brutally no less.

"Fine, you clean up the mess then." Itachi informed him.

"Ugh, you just want to help because you like staring at her." Sasuke said whining slightly. "Uchiha's don't whine." Sasuke informed the author. Fine. Sasuke said in a manly complaint-ive voice. Happy? "Very." Stupid Sasuke making me use a word that does not exist.

"I have an idea." Itachi said interrupting Sasuke's argument with the author.

"What is it?" Naruto asked excited. He was done with his ramen now.

"Wait the walls have ears." Itachi said oddly paranoid, as usual. So he turned really small and flew into a random box. The other two fairies shrugged and flew in after him.

"So what is your plan?" Sasuke asked.

"I will turn her into a mirror." Itachi stated. That way he can stare at her and look at himself. Brilliance!

"That's right a mirror can't prick it's finger!" Naruto stated getting the logic. A sure sign that there is something wrong with his logic.

"Yeah that would be great until Linda breaks the mirror by having her ugly minions look at it." Sasuke pointed out the flaws.

"Fine we will just have to take the princess and raise her ourselves without magic." Itachi announced.

"What! Where will I get my ramen?" Naruto asked.

"I can teach the princess how to make ramen and until then you can eat instant." Itachi offered.

"No." Sasuke refused Itachi's request.

"There is nothing else we can do we thought of all the other plans and they would not have worked." Itachi stated grinning evilly to himself. You know sometimes I wonder if he is really a good fairy at all. Maybe the pink is just a disguise.

"You wanted to do this the entire time, that's why you only came up with the stupid mirror plan." Sasuke whined. "What did I say about Uchiha's and whining?" Then maybe you should stop being whiny and just do what your brother wants because he is kind of going with the plot. "Fine."

"She told you," Naruto began but then realized something, "Itachi if you know how to make ramen then why aren't you going to make it for me?"

"Why would I make you ramen?" Itachi asked.

"Let's just get on with the story already." Sasuke complained.

"Fine, let's go tell the king and queen our plan." Naruto said pouting about the lack of ramen in his future.

* * *

Once they found the king, he wasn't that hard to find since he was merely sleeping in his bed like usual, the also found the queen. Well the queen found them, more specifically Sasuke.

"What did you want to speak to me about?" Shikamaru asked eying the fairies since he did not trust how helpful they really were.

"We have come up with a plan to save your daughter." Itachi announced.

"You did? Sasuke-kun you are the best!" Sakura stated.

"What is the plan?" Shikamaru asked.

"We will take your daughter into hiding and raise her until she is over 16." Itachi stated, not asked, stated.

"You want to take my daughter?" Shikamaru asked eying them suspiciously, especially the pink fairy.

"Yes." Itachi answered simply taking the girl and disappearing with her.

"We'll give her back to you after her 16th birthday." Naruto assured them before he too disappeared.

"For some reason I don't believe them." Shikamaru muttered but then shrugged before finishing his nap.

* * *

After nearly 16 years passed, the kingdom began to rejoice over the not-dead. They knew she was not dead because there was an evil storm cloud over Linda's not-so-secret-secret lair. Evil storm cloud apparently means not-dead.

As Linda paced around in her evil castle of doom as cool looking purple lightning flashed. Every flash of lightning causing Linda to get distracted and mutter 'shiny' to herself.

"Such ugly people I have to look at." Linda complained looking at her ugly minions. "What's with the storms all the time? Can't an old women sleep?"

Linda you're not that old. "Yes I am." No you're not. "You only say that because you are the same age as me." You know what, you're right we are old.

"So in 16 years none of you ugly minions have found the princess? Failures!" Linda said addressing her minions and not the author. "Are you sure that you searched everywhere?"

"Yeah we searched everywhere for the baby."

"Wait you were searching for a baby for 16 years?"

"Yes." the minions answered.

"I have stupid _and_ ugly minions. Searching for a baby for almost 16 years." Linda muttered to herself then pointed her staff at them, "Green lightning attack!"

After all her minions were gone Linda turned to Hitsugaya and asked "Go find the princess for me. But don't accept candy from strangers, and if you do accept candy from anyone then share."

* * *

So back to the part that I am in...For almost 16 years the three good fairies have kept me safe, good with a very loose definition mind you. I suppose with Itachi in the picture safe also is a term used loosely. Also kept is more like stared at in the case of Itachi. Okay so the new sentence is: For almost 16 years one of the fairies has stared at me while the other two have kept me as safe as they could.

The fairies were cooking up a special surprise for my 16th birthday and I knew it. What I did not know, however, was why I was dusting the shutters. I just don't get it. How did I knew they were going to surprise me? Naruto is loud which means I heard some of the conversation, even from the top floor when I was dusting the shutters. The shutters people, the shutters.

"This part will be pink." Itachi announced looking at a picture of a dress.

"Why not blue?" Sasuke asked.

"We decided pink." Itachi said.

"You decided." Sasuke countered.

"Why pink?" Naruto asked curiously in a curious voice hoping that his question would not piss off Itachi the pink fairy.

"I am the pink fairy that means that everything in pink belongs to me." Itachi explained with an evil grin.

"What are you three up to?" I asked coming down the stairs.

"Nothing, we just want you to..." Itachi began but then zoned out thinking about what he wanted me to do...I don't wanna know.

"To pick berries." Sasuke offered giving me a basket.

"You don't like berries." I informed him.

"Then get me some tomatoes while you are out."

"Could you pick me up some Ramen?" Naruto asked.

"Dobe, how is she supposed to go in the forest and come back with ramen?"

"I don't know." Naruto admitted.

"Okay I suppose." I said still wondering what they were plotting.

"Be safe." Sasuke said like a good parental figure.

"Look both ways before crossing the road." Naruto offered me very good advice, if I was near a road.

"Don't fall in a lake." Sasuke told me. Just because I feel into the lake that one time, okay it was more like three times but still.

"Don't point at people and laugh." Naruto informed me. What people is he talking about? I would hope that I would be smart enough not to do it, no matter how much fun pointing and laughing at people is.

"Don't let a prince get a hold of one of your hands, they don't let go." Itachi said nearly growling at the prospect. Okay Itachi...where did that come from? I took that as my cue to leave and walked off.

* * *

Preview from next chapter:

_"Yeah, and a real B-day cake as opposed to the fake plastic ones that we've had thus far." Naruto said thinking about cake, mmm cake. The cake is not a lie!_

_"Yes and a dress a princess can be proud of and will wear all the time." Itachi added taking out some pink material._

_"I'll get the wands." Sasuke offered._

_"No, foolish little brother we are not allowed to use magic because then we will be found." Itachi explained._

_"Then how are we supposed to organize a party and make a dress and a cake?" Sasuke asked._

_"We will have to make them the old fashioned way."_

_"This will end badly."_

_"Probably." Itachi agreed._


	12. Sleeping Beauty 3

I might not be able to update next week because finals are coming and for some reason I am taking 6 classes so that means 6 finals...what was I thinking?

Enjoy this chapter though...next will be out as soon as I can get it out. (aka after I write it) :)

Sleeping Beauty chapter 3

As soon as I left the fairies went inside to begin working on their ingenious plan.

"Won't she be surprised a real B-day party...no more watching people have parties." Sasuke stated.

"Yeah, and a real B-day cake as opposed to the fake plastic ones that we've had thus far." Naruto said thinking about cake, mmm cake. The cake is not a lie!

"Yes and a dress a princess can be proud of and will wear all the time." Itachi added taking out some pink material.

"I'll get the wands." Sasuke offered.

"No, foolish little brother we are not allowed to use magic because then we will be found." Itachi explained.

"Then how are we supposed to organize a party and make a dress and a cake?" Sasuke asked.

"We will have to make them the old fashioned way."

"This will end badly."

"Probably." Itachi agreed.

"I want to make a cake!" Naruto shouted.

"But you can't cook anything other than ramen." Sasuke said.

"It will be fine." Itachi said putting a stool in the middle of the room.

"You don't care about anything other than her wearing the dress." Sasuke shot back giving Itachi a weird look because he simply sat there staring at him. "What am I supposed to do?"

"You are going to be the dummy so that I can make the dress." Itachi stated simply.

"I hate you." Sasuke spat out.

"Stand still." Itachi said ignoring his brother and tossing the material over Sasuke's head.

"Okay so three cups of flower." Naruto says while holding up two fingers and then proceeds to use three different cups to measure out the flower, "Two tsps, what is a tsps?"

"It's a teaspoon dobe."

"Hold still Sasuke." Itachi growled.

"This dress looks ugly."

"Of course it does, it's on you not someone pretty like the princess."

"No I think this atrocity would look bad on the princess too."

"Hush."

"You know Itachi after today she will be come a princess and we have to give her back." Sasuke smirked taunting Itachi.

"We have had her for 16 years." Naruto added.

"16 wonderful years of staring, do we have to give her back?" Itachi asked.

"Yes." Both Naruto and Sasuke told him. Poor Itachi was overruled.

"Fine, we need to finish this before she comes back." Itachi told them and they all went back to work except Sasuke who went back to being a dummy.

* * *

"I'm alone in a forest what shall I do...I know sing and talk to myself!" I said beginning to do just that. Then this bird started singing and I matched it's song. Take that bird I can sing your little song. I can even add words too, hah! I win.

Now the birds are going around waking up the poor animals. I caught an owl! I am just going to cross this highly unstable bridge which is a fallen tree. The animals are stalking me now. Run away! Maybe if I keep singing they won't attack.

* * *

Conveniently in the valley there is a prince, I mean a male, who has a captain's jacket I mean a jacket.

"Do you hear that, Kakashi?" the male on the horse asked his horse after hearing someone singing in the middle of the forest. I wonder if the horse does hear it. I personally think the prince is a little crazy for talking to his horse, especially after he hears an echoing voice in the forest. The guy seems to have a screw loose, but for the sake of the plot we are going to pretend the horse can understand him and there is a voice singing.

"What is it?" He asked. Why I do believe it is a voice that is singing, how can you not know that? "Let's go find out." Kenpachi, I mean the male said and went to make his horse go towards the sound but the horse said no.

"Oh come on! Would you do it for some carrots?" the male asked the horse and the horse said no. "Fine would you do it for some porn?" he asked and the horse immediately started to go towards the voice.

Sadly for the prince no one told him not to fall into a lake before he left the house so first he somehow fell off his horse and then fell in a lake. Kakashi sheepishly came over to him and took off the male's hat and Kenpachi splashed Kakashi. Water fight!

* * *

As I was singing my I wonder song...I noticed that there was one of every animal except for the owl. Where are the other owls? Is he all alone? Utterly Awone? Wait is that bird green?

Continuing with my song I walk to this conveniently located cliff that overlooks this really pretty white castle. Why haven't I noticed it was right there before? I am going to lean on this, also conveniently placed, tree so that I don't randomly fall off the cliff. Hey randomly falling off cliffs can happen. It can happen to me anyway. Green chameleon bird is gone.

"Sigh, I had a strange dream last night." I told the animals. They seem to be listening so I might as well go with it. "You know how Itachi doesn't want me to meet anyone? I fooled him I had a dream where I did. Take that Itachi." the animals looked at me as if to tell me to go on so I did. "Well we walked together and talked together. Although the talking was about fighting and the walking was me running away. Then he takes me into his arms and I should have listened to Itachi..." I said then I stop and look at the animals all eager to hear, "Like I'd go on perverts." all the animals looked really said.

* * *

"You know Kakashi there's something strange about that voice. Maybe it's some mysterious being?" the prince random male Kenpachi said. Why yes it is a mysterious being, thank you for noticing. The prince continued to talk to his horse as he took off his shoes, he's too cool for shoes. "Thieves! Little fuzzy animal clothes stealing thieves!" Kenpachi shouted as he watched his captain's jacket and his snazzy new boots literally walk away.

* * *

I was humming while petting a chipmunk. It's the cutest thing, must pet! When I noticed some of the animals come while wearing someone's clothes. That explains the yelling of the word 'thieves' before.

"It's my dream prince." I said humoring the poor lonely owl. I started dancing with him because I was bored. I started singing "I know you I walked with you once upon a dream..."

As I was dancing Kenpachi and his horse Kakashi came to the clearing and watched me dance. Perverts. They both had the same interested look on their face. I didn't even know horses could have that look on their faces.

Anyways...I got to the chorus of the song, "If I know you I know what you'll do..." I sang but stopped when I felt someone's hands on my wrists. Then I heard a deep voice finish the song. I quickly looked behind me to see my molester.

"I didn't mean to frighten you." Kenpachi said grinning. Somehow we don't believe you.

"It's not that," I lied," It's just that you're a--

"A stranger?"

"Yeah, one who won't let go of my hand." I said wondering if he was a prince. Itachi did say that princes don't let go. I can see myself coming back to the cottage... Hi Itachi this is random prince guy, yeah he got a hold of my hand and wouldn't let go. Yeah I remember you telling me not to let me that happen. He's sneaky though, came right behind me while I was fraternizing with the animals. Naruto fraternizing means talking and being around. No I don't know how to make him go away...yeah it would be something like that.

* * *

Preview from next chapter:

_"When will I see you again?"_

_"Never."_

_"What?"_

_"Never."_

_"Tomorrow?"_

_"No."_

_"The next day?"_

_"Maybe some day."_

_"I'll see you tonight." He called ignoring my wishes on the matter completely._


	13. Sleeping Beauty 4

Sorry about how long it took to get this out and how short and preview-less it is. Next week I will definitely have a more normal chapter out. I just didn't have time. Sorry!

Sleeping Beauty 4

Some stuff happened and we wound up dancing and one thing led to another...but I still could not get away. In a desperate last attempt to get rid of the prince I took him to my favorite cliff, the one with the tree. Maybe there could be an accident and he might accidentally on purpose fall/get pushed off the cliff. Stupid cliff is backfiring now his arm is around me.

"What's your name?" the male asked.

"Itachi told me not to tell any guy my name, in case they are stalkers." I informed my future stalker. He was so shocked that he stopped holding me. I got away! Duck under the branch and run for it! "Good bye!" I called not wanting to be rude.

"When will I see you again?"

"Never."

"What?"

"Never."

"Tomorrow?"

"No."

"The next day?"

"Maybe some day."

"I'll see you tonight." He called ignoring my wishes on the matter completely.

* * *

"I don't think my cake is a real cake." Naruto whined as his cake melted onto the table.

"Well what do you think of the dress?" Itachi asked expecting to be showered with praise.

"I think you both suck and we should just use magic already." Sasuke replied.

"Fine we will use our wands but first, we need to ensure that no one is spying on us." Itachi informed them.

"Who would be spying on us?" Naruto asked.

"Who wouldn't be?" Itachi asked sounding really paranoid.

"The evil fairy Linda, remember her Dobe?" Sasuke asked.

"Oh yeah her. Fine I'll seal the fireplace." Naruto suggested.

"Fireplace? Don't seal the fireplace what if we forget to unseal it, then we could die due to the smoke." Sasuke scolded as he shut the door and covered the windows and did other such things while Itachi day dreamed about something...

"Fine."

"Okay, Naruto you make the cake. Sasuke you clean up this mess that you made. I will make a lovely pink dress." Itachi said before using his wand and making a pink dress poof into existence. Such hard work Itachi had to do.

"Stupid Itachi always making me do the cleaning just for that I am going to make the dress blue." Sasuke muttered to himself as he made the dress blue. Instantly Itachi make it pink. Then there was a huge color war over the dress causing magical sparkles to fly everywhere. Naruto noticed nothing because he was eating his eleventh bowl of Ramen.

* * *

Hitsugaya just happened to be flying around looking for any sign of magic and he saw the sparkles flying around this one cabin house place. Hitsu immediately rush back to Linda after gathering data about the situation. Hitsugaya is really a genius, especially for a crow.

* * *

In an uncharacteristic bout of usefulness Naruto actually sensed Candice coming and warned the other two. The other two must have been too caught up in their ultimate battle over the blue or pink dress. That is their excuse anyway. So they all quickly cleaned up the mess and got ready for my return. By ready I mean they hid so they could say surprise when I came in.

"Itachi? Sasuke? Naruto?" I questioned walking in then I noticed the dress and the cake, "Who left the candles on the cake on fire then left the room?"

"Surprise!" Naruto shouted jumping out happily.

"Surprise." Both Uchiha's said cooly.

"Today was such an interesting day in my life, just wait until you meet him."

"Him?" Itachi questioned honing in the the word 'him' and glaring at the word.

"Yeah there was this dude in the forest and he had my hand..."

"I told you not to let guys get a hold of your hand." Itachi scolded.

"This is terrible." Sasuke added.

"Why? Other than the I have a stalker part."

"You're already betrothed." Itachi said glaring more because he does not want to admit that.

"When did that happen?" I questioned trying to remember.

"When you were born."

"Oh."

"To prince Kenpachi." Naruto added unhelpfully.

"Wait a prince?"

"You're a princess." Naruto informed me.

"Really?"

"Yes, and you must never see that boy again." Itachi added for good measure. I started crying at this point.

"I'm sorry." Naruto said sadly.

"No, no. These are tears of happiness because I don't have to deal with the stalker now. Thank you fairies!" then I skipped up into my room and went to sleep.


	14. Sleeping Beauty 5

* * *

I actually completely forgot about the existence of this story for a week...sorry. I think the next chapter will be the end of this story. I will probably take suggestions for what story to do next. Your options are pretty much any fairytale/disneylike story that I haven't done yet.

Sleeping Beauty 5

"No sign of her yet." Shikamaru sighed as he laid on a bench.

"Of course no you aren't even looking outside." Chouji remarked eating all the food that was on the table. Then Chouji clapped for a waiter, even though it was Shikamaru's house and the waitress, Tsunade, brought out some whine. Chouji took the bottle after the waiter poured two glasses. The waiter sneakily drunk one of the glasses. The waitress is sneaky, like a ninja.

Then there was happy drunk revelry. The waitress got drunk and then lost all her money in the most epic go fish game ever. (Not Goldfish Linda Go Fish). The waitresses name, if you were wondering even though she never appears again (except maybe a cameo at the end or something) was named Tsunade. The minstrel also joined in and got so drunk he drank wine from his instrument. He was also a pervert named Jiraya. All in all it was a normal evening in the kingdom of really big birthday parties but no spinning wheels.

For some odd reason they also built a random castle and were planning to have the prince and princess move in there. There were some plans made too. Too bad the plans were drawn with crayon by some random kid coughKonohomarucough.

"Kenpachi is here." Some random voice announced.

"Thank you random voice." Chouji greeted.

"Your welcome."

"What a polite random voice." Shikamaru pointed out. Then Chouji magically appeared on some stairs as Kenpachi rode into the castle while the people there cheered. Why did they cheer you ask? Well that is because if they don't Kenpachi will ask them to fight with them.

"Kenpachi!" Chouji greeted. "Put on something suitable, you are going to meet your future bride."

"I have already met her."

"You have?"

"Yes I have, I even caught her." Kenpachi said then started singing after picking up his father Chouji for no apparent reason.

"Why is he singing?" the random voice asked.

"I haven't the faintest idea." the Narrator responded.

"He's dancing too." the random voice pointed out.

"Creepy." the narrator agreed.

"What is all this catching people nonsense?" Chouji asked after Kenpachi put him down.

"Yes I definitely caught her."

"Who?" Chouji questioned confused.

"The mysterious being, I mean girl." Kenpachi said as Kakashi nodded his head in agreement.

"So you don't even know who she was?" Chouji questioned wondering about the sanity of his son.

"Some peasant girl I suppose." Kenpachi answered, "And I will marry her. I caught her and everything."

"You're going to marry some peasant girl?"

"Yes." Kenpachi answered simply before hopping on Kakashi and riding off. Why he left the forest where she was in the first place I shall never know. He could have saved himself a trip if he had just stayed there, in the meadow with the random cliff that has a tree. It's not like he ate anything when he went home he just talked to his father. Seems like a pointless trip to me. Anyway back to the story I suppose.

* * *

Back with me...

"Here take this cloak to hide your identity just in case." Sasuke said handing me a very blue cloak much to Itachi's disappointment.

"My very own cloak? For me! Best present ever!" I said happily putting on the cloak.

"Um, aren't your supposed to be upset?" Naruto questioned.

"Oh yeah. Ummm sad." I said while grinning because I had a pretty blue cloak.

"Okay so we are going to sneak into the castle like the ninjas we are." Itachi informed us.

"Um, last I checked we were fairy's and not ninja." Naruto pointed out.

"Well that definitely will make this harder. I was hoping we could use our super cool ninja sneaking skills, but since we are fairy we will have to just sneak normally." Itachi said sadly.

"Um, why am I the only one with a cloak?"

"Cloak's don't fit over our pointy hats." Sasuke informed me.

"If we are sneaking all incognito-like then why aren't you guys hiding who you are?" I questioned.

"I don't know." Naruto responded.

"I guess it is a good thing that you are not ninjas then." I muttered to myself in my lovely cloak.

* * *

After the fairies snuck into the castle, all not ninja like, they commandeered an empty room. Sasuke locked the door, because that would keep out the evil fairies, and Naruto closed the blinds, because that means no one will ever see what was in the room.

"One last gift for you." Itachi announced.

"Is it another cloak? Is it black?" I questioned excited with the prospect.

"No, it's not a cloak." Sasuke replied while rolling his eyes at me and ruining my hope of another cloak.

"It's not a cloak but the symbol of your royalty." Itachi answered a lot nicer than Sasuke.

"It's shiny." Naruto added.

"It's shiny? I want it." I said excited once more.

"Here's your crown." Itachi said as the three of them used their magic to make a crown and put it on my head. I was so happy that I had gotten both a cloak and something shiny in the same day that I cried tears of happiness.

"Come on, let's leave the princess alone in the room so that the plot can continue." Itachi ordered.

"What if that boy she met comes to take her away?" Sasuke questioned once they were out of the room.

"I'll kill him." Itachi answered.

"Um, we're the good fairies I don't think we can do that." Naruto responded.

"Who said I would use magic?" Itachi questioned with a really evil look on his face. Yeah, he's definitely just pretending to be a good fairy, the pink is just to lure you into a false sense of security.

* * *

Back in the room...

"Hmm, there's some random creepy music playing..." I mused looking around for the source of the music. "Why'd the fire just randomly go out. That can't be a good sign."

"Green Ball!" Linda said appearing creepily in the fireplace.

"It is green." I agreed.

"Green light of Hypnotism!"

"Oh, pretty green." I said before getting up and heading towards the green light. Head towards the light! Oh no my cloak fell off. Can't go back to get cloak...evil green light of hypnotism. Oh look there's a door in the fireplace, I wonder why I didn't notice that before.

* * *

Back with the fairies...

"I don't see why she has to marry a prince anyway." Itachi grumbled sulking.

"It's not our choice." Naruto said sadly, he was going to miss the ramen. Wait a minute, Naruto has his wand which means...Ramen time!

"Dobe, stop eating Ramen at a time like this."

"But Sasuke, it's Ramen time."

"Listen." Itachi said randomly.

"I hear creepy music." Naruto answered, him being one of the few people in the world who can listen while talking.

"Linda!" the three of them said in unison as they walked back into the room, without knocking.

"Why did we leave her alone?" Itachi questioned.

"The plot." Sasuke replied.

"Ah yes, the plot." Naruto agreed.

"Princess!" the three of them called out to me but I could not hear them due to the fact that the music was too loud. Then the fireplace turned into a fireplace. Wow, what a good use of magic.

* * *

Preview from next chapter:

_Up the staircase. Wait stairs. Too lazy. Laziness versus hypnotism: laziness lost, wow that's a first._


	15. Sleeping Beauty 6

Evil computer deleted this entire chapter for no apparent reason...Had to retype it...ignore spelling ang grammar [like usual :)]. I am also up to suggestions of which story I should work on next...Alladin, Little Mermaid, Peter Pan, Cinderella, little Red Riding hood, or any others you can come up with...

Sleeping Beauty 6

In green hypnotism land

Must follow the shiny. Must follow the shiny green ball. I always follow the shiny. Up the staircase. Wait stairs. Too lazy. Laziness versus hypnotism: laziness lost, wow that's a first.

Will this staircase never end? Oh wait the shiny is still here. Another staircase and you Mr. Shiny expect me to walk up it. Oh wait, I am already walking up it.

* * *

With the Fairies

The three fairies were desperately trying to push themselves through the brick fireplace.

"Wait a second, we have magic." Itachi pointed out while pointing his want at the fireplace and making it turn back into a doorway.

"Princess!" the fairies called out hoping to gain my attention. Yeah not happening the shiny is too, well, shiny...and green. "Where are you?" They called out looking around the room and then realizing that there was only one way to go, up the staircase. Why they looked around the entire room shouting for me I shall never know, I was too busy following the shiny.

"Princess!" they called out and they even looked outside a window for me. Good job guys... because I am floating outside a window right now...brilliance.

They continued searching for me, shouting my name every so often, and even passed an area that had a fork with three ways. They split up but instantly knew I went strait. What we are not going to mention is the fact that I don't remember going over that much flat space all I remember are stairs.

* * *

Back with Mr. Shiny (and me)

Finally no more steps. The trouble with these castle is all these bloody steps. Wait the steps were bloody? I wonder then look behind me at the stairs and realize that no they are regular steps not bloody ones. I'm supposed to be doing something...oh I am hypnotized. Slowly walking towards the shiny.

The shiny has turned into a spinning wheel! A green glowy one. Must touch shiny spinning wheel.

"Don't touch anything." Itachi warned me...I heard his voice.

"Touch it. Touch it I say. Peer pressure, peer pressure." Linda's voice commanded. Then I touched it. The voice told me to and it was green and shiny, how was I supposed to say no.

"You poor fool thinking you could defeat me, ME!" Linda shouted.

"When did you get here?" I questioned.

"Shh, you are supposed to be asleep." Linda reminded me.

"Sorry." I replied falling to the ground as if asleep. Nap time.

"Here's your precious princess." Linda said before evil laughing away. Without coughing for once...it was a good evil laughter day.

"Does that mean she's mine now?" Itachi questioned.

"No." I...i mean the narrator said. I couldn't say it since I was sleeping, not faking at all.

"I'll never forgive myself." Sasuke muttered.

"You shouldn't." Itachi said back.

"We're all to blame." Naruto said.

"No just Sasuke." Itachi stated.

* * *

Back with my Father and my party that is happening without me...how rude

"Hey, Shikamaru." Chouji said nervously.

"Not now Chouji, can't you see I am doing nothing?" Shikamaru scolded as he sat in his throne half asleep.

"Well it's about Kenpachi." Chouji said.

"Kenpachi, let me guess. He got in a fight?"

"No."

"He secretly loves some random peasant girl and all our plans for brining peace to our two kingdoms is now ruined, and thus we will go to war?" Shikamaru questioned.

"Um, not exactly." Chouji explained poorly. Luckily Chouji was interrupted by a trumpet going off.

"The sun has set." A voice called out.

"Thank you captain obvious, I would have never known that the sun had set aside from the fact that I can see it." An annoyed voice called out.

"Hey I am just doing my job here."

"You job is to announce when the sun sets?"

"Yeah."

"How come I never heard it before?"

"Usually I just tell one person and rely on word of mouth to get around, I thought I would announce it today since the princess is coming."

"Showing off for the Princess, I see well good work then."

"Thanks." He said then the party started. There were fireworks and happiness but one thing was missing, me...the princess...remember the person who you are throwing this party for.

* * *

Back with the fairies in the tower

"She's not as much fun to look at asleep." Itachi mentioned as he messed with the blanket they put over me.

"Poor Shikamaru and the queen, who apparently isn't important enough to get a name (Sakura)." Naruto said.

"They are going to be heartbroken when they find out, and Sakura will probably punch us really hard." Sasuke said not looking forward to the beating he expected he would receive.

"Then they won't." Itachi said getting an idea. And ingenious evil, I mean good yeah he's good, idea. "We'll put them all to sleep, Hide the failure. We did not fail. If it is ever discovered it was all Sasuke's fault."

"How long are we putting them to sleep?" Naruto asked.

"Until the princess wakes up or they all die." Itachi explained.

And so Naruto found a CD of the sleeping Beauty soundtrack and started playing it making everyone fall asleep with it's choir like music. The song also revealed the entire plot.

* * *

Meanwhile in ignorance is bliss land aka with Kenpachi

"Man it took a lot longer to get here then it took me to get back to the castle..." Kenpachi noticed as he rode Kakashi up to the cabin in the woods. Kenpachi took two big steps to the door and then fixed the bells in his hair and looked to Kakashi to make sure that he looked alright. Kakashi was already ignoring him, then Kenpachi remembered Kakashi was a horse and not a ninja and so he began to care less about being ignored by a horse, but it still stung. Hurt his pride. Kenpachi knocked on the door.

"Come in." Said a voice that sounded oddly like Linda and not Candice (me the princess). Kenpachi being an idiot, I mean brave man, came right into the cottage. The door closed behind him and instant attack! Kenpachi was caught.

"Man I like this girl more and more." Kenpachi attempted to say but he was gagged. While the prince was being captured Linda watched occasionally cheering for her minions and saying "Yay, violence" every so often. Hitsugaya watched the whole proceedings, not helping, with his usual glare.

"I set the trap for a peasant and I catch a prince...lucky day, lucky day!" Linda exclaimed. "Let's kidnap him now. Gently minions."

"Why?" Asked minion number 8.

"Because it wouldn't be fair if I just killed him now."

"You were willing to kill the princess right away."

"No I was willing to wait 16 years to kill her."

"Why?"

"I like 16 so shut up."

"Uh huh."

"Away with you." Linda shoo-ed away minion number 8 since all the other minions were already gone.

* * *

Preview from next chapter: SB End!

_"Gasp!" They all dramatically gasped when they saw a bell on the ground._

_"Dun dun dun!" the narrator sang._

_"Wait, a bell?" Itachi asked confused since he had no memory of the prince, he has selective memory._

_"It's the prince's." Naruto explained remembering the bells because they were shiny._

_"Oh, so she has the prince. I should just go try to kiss the princess then..." Itachi stated._

_"You already tried that." Sasuke pointed out._

_"Five times." Naruto agreed._


	16. Sleeping Beauty End

Sleeping Beauty End

With the fairies

"Why didn't we fly before now?" Naruto asked.

"It would have been too noticeable." Sasuke explained while Itachi ignored them both.

"But we could turn really tiny." Naruto pointed out.

"It's because of the plot." Sasuke said annoyed.

"That keeps getting in the way." Naruto said shaking his head.

"Who left the door open?" Itachi questioned.

"It wasn't me." Sasuke replied as they became normal size in the cottage.

"Gasp!" They all dramatically gasped when they saw a bell on the ground.

"Dun dun dun!" the narrator sang.

"Wait, a bell?" Itachi asked confused since he had no memory of the prince, he has selective memory.

"It's the prince's." Naruto explained remembering the bells because they were shiny.

"Oh, so she has the prince. I should just go try to kiss the princess then..." Itachi stated.

"You already tried that." Sasuke pointed out.

"Five times." Naruto agreed.

"Fine, so Linda has the prince in the Forbidden insert name of something here."

"Wait you can't even remember the name of the place?" Sasuke questioned.

"I'll remember when we see it."

"We can't go there, it's forbidden!" Naruto whined.

"We can." Itachi stated making it law.

"Really?" Naruto asked with his eyes all big and hopeful.

"Yes, it's just a name Dobe." Sasuke told him.

* * *

"Okay we have arrived at the gate, drawbridge, place of the forbidden unimportant name of place. We are going to have to use our ninja skills to sneak around undetected." Itachi informed them.

"Wasn't it already established that we aren't ninja, just fairies?" Sasuke questioned.

"Well technically we are not, but I think even we can sneak into here. I mean there is only one guard and we have magic." Itachi answered.

"True."

"Why don't we just go in there and use our magic to defeat the one guard?" Naruto questioned.

"Pretending to be sneaky, even though in this story/movie we obviously aren't is more fun." Itachi answered.

"Where is that sneaking into somewhere music coming from?" generic minion gate guard pig thing asked himself out loud, "I guess it was nothing."

"I have an idea." Naruto said randomly.

"What?" Sasuke questioned.

"Let's turn ourselves small and fly up that chain there."

"That was actually a good idea, good job Naruto." Sasuke said.

"I am going to pretend that I only heard the last part of that sentence."

"Why didn't we just turn really small and fly around before?" Itachi questioned.

"I don't know, what do you think narrator?" Sasuke questioned.

"I am going with either because of the plot, or maybe so that Hitsu doesn't eat you."

"Okay, let's go peak in that window like perverts." Itachi suggested flying over to a conveniently located window.

"Oh look they are having a fire party like the one from the beginning of this story!" Naruto exclaimed because I typed an exclamation point.

"Hey how come they get to dance around magical green fire?" Sasuke questioned.

"I want magical green fire." Naruto whined.

"Why don't you both go down there and find out." Itachi suggested grinning evilly at them.

Meanwhile Linda was petting Hitsu. "Good Hitsu. Such a pity Kenpachi can't be here to witness this party. I know! I'll go torment him in the dungeon. That spells out a good time for everyone. Now I am going to regally walk out of here." Linda said as she walked slowly out of the room.

* * *

Skip to the dungeon

"Man why are there all those steps in this stupid castle." Linda wondered as she walked into the prince's cell.

"..." Hitsu looked at her.

"I know, it's because it's big don't give me that are you stupid look. What's wrong Kenpachi?"

"I can't fight while being attached to a wall." Kenpachi answered.

"Well you can kick people."

"You're right."

"See, he sees my genious."

"..." Hisu gave her a disbelieving look.

"Anyway, back to the taunting. Behold! the princess is actually that girl you wanted to kidnap but you will never see her again, because I said so."

"NOES!" Kenpachi yelled dramatically as the camera zoomed out in a dramatic fashion.

"Come Hitsu let us leave, before the camera does something else out of script. For the first time in 16 yrs I shall sleep well...man I'm tired. Now I am just going to walk to my room which is some random tower whose walkway isn't even in the castle but for some odd reason outside."

* * *

"There's no time to explain." Itachi said using his wand to let the prince escape.

"What is there to explain. You three are fairies and are here to set me free. I see no need for explanation." Kenpachi responded.

"Well I hate you." Itachi said simply.

"Don't worry he's just jealous." Naruto responded trying to make the prince feel better about being hated.

"No I think his jealousy has turned into hate." Sasuke offered unhelpfully.

"Why do our wands suddenly sound like bug zappers?" Naruto asked.

"How should I know, Dobe?" Sasuke questioned.

"Teme." Naruto pouted.

"So your love will be tested, a lot, and um we won't help you." Sasuke said.

"Because we hate you." Itachi cut in.

"But we can give you something to help you." Naruto said helpfully.

"But we are not going to go with you and use our magic to help you or anything helpful like that, because we hate you." Itachi cut in.

"Would you shut up and give him the stupid sword and shield already." Sasuke remarked angrily.

"Fine you can have the shield of virtue." Itachi grumbled as he flicked his wand, "And the sword of truth."

"Man I love that book series, until the last couple of books." the narrator cut in uselessly.

"Shut up you." Sasuke ordered.

"Meanie." the narrator responded.

"I have a sword!" Kenpachi said with a happy grin.

"Let's just go." Itachi said as they all walked out of the room. They immediately almost ran into Hitsu.

"Oh no, a crow is going to stop us whatever shall we do." Sasuke said sarcastically.

"Hey, um guys, why didn't we stop Hitsu from leaving to tell the queen we are escaping? Couldn't you have used your magic on him or something?" Kenpachi questioned as they ran the other direction.

"We could but the plot says no." Itachi answered.

"Oh no generic minions! Run away!" Naruto shouted and they all ran on reflex.

"Why am I running I have a sword and you all have magic?" Kenpachi said before he started attacking the minions.

"We can't waste time here fighting these minions, out the window!" Itachi said pushing the prince out. Luckily for the prince there was a ledge and then a pile of dirt where Itachi pushed him off the ledge. At the bottom of the dirt pile was Kakashi conveniently located.

"Holy crap! Rocks!" Kakashi said.

"Holy crap you can talk! And rocks! Big boulder-y rocks!" Kenpachi shouted out.

"Rocks change to bubbles." Itachi ordered. "Not only do bubbles not hurt as much as rocks but this should also distract the queen for a bit."

* * *

With the queen

"OMG! Bubbles! Chase them, shiny object! Sparkles!" Linda said.

* * *

Back with them

"They are going to shoot us with arrows!" Naruto yelled shocked.

"Why didn't they do that before?" Kenpachi questioned.

"Shut up and let me fix this, even though I said I wasn't going to help." Itachi said.

"I already turned them into blue flowers because you took too long." Sasuke informed them as they both look to discover a bunch of blue flowers floating around.

"Oh crap, either that is hot oil or really dirty water!" Kenpachi said noticing the next thing the minions were trying out.

"Hot oil to-- Itachi began to say but was cut off by Naruto.

"A rainbow!" Naruto said.

"Yeah, that wasn't strange." Sasuke muttered as Naruto just smiled at them all.

"You know that Hitsu crow bird thing was checking out your hair, since it looks like a duck's butt and all." Naruto said snickering.

"I'll get it and turn it to stone!" Sasuke said feeling violated by the crow's attention to his hair.

"Did it really?" Itachi asked.

"No, I just wanted to scar Sasuke mentally." Naruto responded.

"Nice." Kenpachi agreed.

* * *

With the Queen

"Who left these pretty flowers for me? How nice of them. A rainbow! I love rainbows! Best day ever! Maybe I can follow it and find the elf at the end." Linda said excited as she followed the trail left by the fairies.

"Um Linda?"

"Yes Candice?"

"You do realize that it is not an Elf but a leprechaun at the end of a rainbow."

"Crap, did I say elf?"

"Yes."

"I meant leprechaun."

"Sure you did."

"Curses you for stealing my half of the brain, again."

"Let's just get on with the story."

"Wait, is that my Hitsu? Turned to stone? Oh noes good day suddenly bad." Linda said seeing Hitsu. "Who."

"Sasuke did it."

"They will pay. Lightning Attack! Since that missed again! Man my aim sucks." Linda said. "Fine I'll just put some thorns in front of you all."

"Fog of doom!" the narrator said because it was fun.

"Wait how is the lightning turning into thorns?" Kenpachi questioned.

"Magic evil powers."Itachi answered.

"Evil laugh Mwahahaha, or is it Bwahahaha, evil laugh." Linda said.

"Thank goodness swords can cut through thorns." Kenpachi remarked as he effortlessly cut through the thorns.

"No, Denied!" Linda said before magically traveling so that she was in front of the prince and the fairies, "By all the powers of hell, hell I say! Turn me into a purple dragon! Not a purple barney dino thing a cool looking dragon. Dragon I say, also purple remember the purple."

Stuff happened, Kenpachi stabbed Linda with his sword. Linda in her fat Dragon-ness broke the cliff and then died. Oh wait I forgot this is bleach no one dies. Hmm so what did happen.

"Well I fell down the hole and now I am reformed. All I want is another rainbow."

"Rainbows!" Naruto exclaimed.

And so the prince traveled up to the princess's tower, where every princess's room is, and kissed her breaking the spell. The castle slowly woke up.

"What happened?" Some people asked.

"I seemed to have fallen asleep." smarter people concluded.

"Shikamaru stop pretending to still be asleep." Sakura scolded Shika.

"Troublesome." Shikamaru said waking up.

So the king and queen finally met their daughter after so many years and the party could commence. The three fairies watched the proceedings from a balcony since they wanted to be anti-social.

"Wait, her dress is blue?" Itachi questioned confused.

"What are you blind? It's been blue since she got her cloak."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Well I want it pink." Itachi said then turned the dress pink before he stole Sasuke's and Naruto's wands. "Now it is pink."

* * *

What could have been part of the first chapter: There was this strange version that Linda and I had watched to get ideas and this is some of the material we would have gotten from it.

Then enters the evil fairy who everyone thought was dead...

"I am obviously not dead." Evil fairy said in a man's voice. (seriously it was a man's voice)

* * *

So Cinderella or Alladin for the next one. If it helps in Cinderella the prince is Byakuya and in Alladin it is Gin. If no one else chooses I'll let Linda choose...


End file.
